Hanna

This is not a movie review.

The other day Olaf and I were out on a date at Sonic Drive-In. Fancy. We have children and have to fit dates in somehow. As we were sitting there eating our burgers and tater tots I said, "We haven't been to a movie in FOREVER. Let's go to one this weekend."

"All right! What do you want to see?"

I pulled his phone out and looked up movies. I won't discuss why I used his phone and not mine. I hate my phone. It's slow. It's not old, just slow and dumb. I'm not talking about my phone anymore.

"Hey, Hanna is still out. Let's go to that."

"Ask your Sister if it's good. She saw it the other week."

Sister Accountant and I have very similar movie tastes. While the rest of my sisters like girly movies, Sister Accountant and I love good movies. So I texted her for her opinion of the movie, expecting a recommendation. This is what transpired.

Me: So was Hanna good?


SA: I don't think you'd like it. Very bloody & a lot of dead people. It's about vengeance.


Me: I'd just cover my eyes. Some vengeance is ok.


SA: You see the after effects of torture


Me: Oooh

I turned to Olaf and said, "I don't think I want to see it. Sister Accountant doesn't think I'll like it so it must be pretty bad."

Olaf pulled out his phone and started making a phone call.

I tried another movie.

Me: What about Source Code?

I looked at Olaf and said, "Hey! Who are you calling on our super romantic date?!?"

Just as my phone notified me of a new text I heard him talking to the person on the other end. "Thanks. A. Lot. I had her all ready to go see Hanna and you talked her out of it. Thanks. A. Lot. What kind of Sister are you?"

New Text from SA: Ok I thought I was talking to Sister Homemaker. I think you'd like it. Haven't seen Source Code.


Me: Wondered what kind of movies u thought I liked. Twilight?

I waved the phone in front of Olaf and told him "I'll go! It's OK! I can see the movie!"

Even though I knew those other texts were meant for a sweeter, softer, blood-detesting sister, I couldn't help but be super jumpy during the movie. I kept covering my eyes expecting horrific acts of torture and gore. In reality it wasn't worthy of the eye covering. I might have to see it again to really enjoy it.

Now for the movie review: Good Movie. But Hanna's hair was really snarly, like actual knots I wanted to untangle, through most of the movie and it drove me crazy.

The Things We Learn

I've been married for over 17 years. It's long enough that often we know what each other is thinking. Sometimes we can finish the other's sentence. It's not long enough to actually look like each other yet, give us another 10 years.

But occasionally we learn new things about each other.

I know Olaf doesn't like amusement park rides, not even the ferris wheel. I just thought it was because he has motion sickness problems.

I found out, while at Disneyland, that the guy is more afraid of heights than I am! How did I miss that in the last 17 years?

And One Less Tooth

The other day Olaf never showed up for a meeting around lunch time. I didn't think much of it. And then he called me later that day.

"How'd the meeting go?" he asked.

"Oh, fine, nothing exciting," I said. "How's work going?"

"Oh, fine, nothing exciting. Teaching a CPR class right now." Pause. "I had a root canal today."

"Oh, that's right. You were going to the dentist. I'm guessing he felt your tooth wasn't going to make it. So how do you feel?"

"Oh, I'm fine."

"Did you get any good drugs?"

"I haven't filled anything yet."

"That's not what I asked. Did he give you a good prescription?"

"Actually, he said since I haven't needed any pain meds yet he didn't think I'd need much now."

"That's what you get for being a Manly Man, doctor doesn't even give you pain meds!" I have a good laugh. "You know, most people don't go to work after having a root canal. You are crazy."

"Aaahh, it's no big deal."

And that is how Olaf functions on a daily basis. He refuses to feel pain and sickness. It absolutely amazes me. Every. Single. Day.

And the Answer Is...

This picture was taken when Olaf was a lot younger, probably about the age Calvin would be now. He had so much fun on this hike. He still remembers it fondly. He happens to be the young boy on the far right, standing next to the leader on the end with the big goofy glasses. I just love how the hiking apparel and accessories have changed so much over the past 25 years. Everything is so high tech now with fancy wicking fabric, expensive shoes, and all kinds of water bottles to choose from. These kids are carrying gallon milk jugs filled with water! I think we should make Olaf take his kids hiking with the same accessories these kids are using. Hope you enjoyed the flash to the past.

The Scouter

This summer Olaf has spent a lot of time camping. Three weeks to be exact. Well, it's been more than that considering he went again last night with the boys. But I should have known this would be my fate. The second time that I met him he had just come home from a campout with the Scouts. I met him in January. I should have known then and ran screaming. But I didn't. I thought it was cool for him to spend time volunteering with kids. Then came our wedding. We were married on a Friday. In August. At some point in the summer, of which there are twelve weeks, he had a week-long campout with the Boy Scouts at church. Of course it would fall on the week of our wedding. Did he go, you ask? Of course. He came home Thursday afternoon so he could attend our rehearsal dinner and the wedding the following day. I thought it was funny that the Boy Scouts were upset he wasn't returning that Friday night after the wedding. I should have known at that point what I was getting into. But I didn't have a clue. But I am thankful he has a wholesome hobby where he is working hard and giving back to the community.

Here is an old picture of him and his Boy Scout troop when he was quite young. I think this is from the 50-mile he went on one summer. I'll leave you to guess which one is him. I'll give you the answer Monday. Good Luck!

Dad

The other morning I took Baby to his 9am Basketball game. I left the others home sleeping, cuz I'm that kind of awesome Mom and Wife. During the first quarter I got a call from Olaf.

"Are we doing anything today?" he asked.

"Uummm, not that I can think of. Why?"

"Middle Child's friend called and wants to take him to the zoo. I had to give him a hard time when he called. He asked for Middle Child and I told him he wasn't here, he was at his girlfriend's house. All he said was OK. Then I said, 'Middle Child doesn't have a girlfriend and I wouldn't let him spend the night anyway! What kind of Dad do you think I am?' and he replied 'A weird Dad.'"

"Well, sounds like he's got you pegged."

Why I Should Bring Olaf Shopping with Me More Often

When I go grocery shopping I make a menu, make a list, go to the store, buy all the things on the list and a few other things we need that I forgot to put on the list, cringe at the checkout lanes lines, check out, and finally Go Home.

When Olaf comes a lot more crap non-nutritional stuff gets put in the cart. I always spend a little more than I wanted to on food. So I don't usually bring the man. I usually leave him home with the kids. Or better yet, I go while the kids are in school. But while I hurry through the store Olaf peruses and finds things I didn't even know existed.

For example:

I would have never in a million years even picked up the Coconut Oil bottle.

But then I would have missed the good laugh we had about "The Beautiful People Know."

Who's the Bad Guy?

Growing up my Mom always told me not to marry an oldest child since I was an oldest. She said their personalities will not mesh at all. But, despite her best warning, I married an oldest child. And somehow we make it work for us. But even though we are both oldest children, I'm the only one that really acts like it. But I don't know if it's the Oldest Child or Mother in me coming out when I parent.

I don't know if anyone else has this problem but it seems as though I am the bad guy! I am the one that is always grounding the kids, I'm the one giving them chores to do, I'm the one making them finish their supper, I'm the one sending them to bed at night, all the while Olaf is playing with them. Don't take this the wrong way, I get to spend fun time with my children too. But I am the one who makes them do things, usually against their will.

Just the other day I was out and about and the children were home with Olaf. I called to check up on something, which is something I usually abhor. If I am out, I am out! and I better not be bothered by "Baby's changing the TV station!" "Middle Child's bugging me!" "Baby ate my treat!" "Middle Child grounded me!" (All of these are true stories and some of the lesser infractions that were tattled to me while I was trying to forget I was a parent for a few minutes of bliss.) But when I called home I asked Olaf if he had made the children do something and of course he hadn't. I asked him to "Please have them do that before I get home! Please!" I'm sure I even offered some rewards for his getting it done before I got home. His reply was "But Baby's making me take him to lunch." I gave that disgusted sigh and asked "Who's the parent here?"

Even when I'm not home I'm the bad guy.

The American Dream

I walked out to the mailbox and caught Baby selling a single Lifesaver in a wrapper to our neighbor for only $0.50! He saw me coming so he hurried and got the money and ran to his friend's house without acknowledging me at all, afraid I would make him give the money back. My neighbor, the sweet man that he is, begged me not to get mad at him. He told me Baby comes over regularly in warm weather, usually selling rocks. And he never wants more than $0.50. He said Baby will come up to the door and tell him "I've got some really cool rocks! Wanna buy one? It's only $0.50." To which my neighbor can't resist.

I knew he sold rocks. Last year he would get some of those sparkly white rocks from our neighbors side yard, bring them home, hit them with a hammer until they were the "right size," and then he would sell them to my poor neighbors. I thought it was pretty funny and entrepreneurial. One recently graduated high school student paid him $1.75 last summer! His mom told him that Baby'd be back for sure! Maybe that's why they moved last summer.

One year his cousin got him a Build-a-Bear which he loves. But he wanted to buy lots more clothes for him. So I helped him make some chocolate chip cookies and he went door-to-door selling 6 for $1. It was quite the bargain. He scored that time, especially when he told them what it was for, and made almost $10! Enough to buy one more outfit for that special bear of his.

It also reminds me of Calvin. He had the same entrepreneurial spirit. He used to sell rocks. My favorite was the summer he decided to go door-to-door selling Kool-Aid. He filled up two pitchers without my help. I think I was making the daycare kids lunch and told him I'd help in a minute or two and he just couldn't wait. Off he went pulling the rickety wagon with two gallons of Kool-Aid in the back. I thought for sure it would be all over the road. About ten minutes later he came back. "I forgot the sugar," he sheepishly told me. I had such a good laugh! I instructed him in how much sugar was needed for a gallon of Kool-Aid and he was off again. I think he made about $5 that day.

When he entered Middle School he was constantly selling stuff at school. He liked to make duct tape wallets and sell them to friends for a few bucks. Of course I bought the duct tape. But I didn't mind, it was a good use of his time. In 6th grade he would sell two rubberbands for a quarter. Sounds a little odd? The boys would fold paper into football shapes and play that little game where they shoot the footballs through their pal's fingers shaped into a goal post. It was great entertainment.

That same year Olaf brought a bunch of mechanical pencils home from work and Calvin loved them. He's always loved mechanical pencils and every year we had to stock up for school. So off to school Calvin went with about a dozen. A week later he asked Olaf to bring him more. We expressed our surprise at how quickly he had used them. That's when he told us he was selling them for $1! That one gave us a good laugh too. So as you can see, my children selling things is nothing new to me. They're trying to live the American Dream without the illegal alien part.

Yes, We are Rednecks

An actual conversation while shopping with a friend (A). We ran into a friend(B) of my friend's from High School.

B: So there's this big wedding tomorrow that we're in town for. I live back in Virginia now but that's why we're here for Christmas.

A: How fun! Are you guys all ready?

B: Almost. They're having this Western theme cuz his new wife is into that kind of stuff. We almost scored with things to wear tho! Have you ever heard of that store CAL Ranch?

A: Yeah, it's one of the main stores in town.

B: (incredously) Really? (pause) Well, I guess he got us some nice cowboy shirts from there. But he almost got us Cowboy boots!

A: Really? What kind? I guess he decided he didn't want to spend as much since he just got shirts. Cowboy boots are kind of expensive.

B: Yeah, but boots would have been great. I mean, I live in Virginia, they would have been perfect.

A: They are pretty handy.

Me: OOOOH, You wanted the Cowboy Boots?!? I thought you guys were being sarcastic at first. I didn't realize regular people wanted Cowboy Boots.

A: Don't you like Cowboy Boots?

Me: No, I already live in Redneckville, like I need any help advertising that fact! I just didn't realize that other people who weren't rednecks would actually want Cowboy Boots.

B: They would be great for where I live.

A: I like mine but they don't have much traction on the bottom.

Me: I don't think you want grooves on the bottom when you're walking around a horse yard, you'd never get them clean.

B: So, do a lot of people wear cowboy boots in Spanish Fork?

Me: Yes. They are a pretty rednecked crowd, but it's slowly changing. In the past. . .
I then proceeded to tell them how Olaf used to take his shotgun to school. On his way he would occasionally shoot a duck or some other fowl. When he got to school the Lunch Ladies would wrap it up for him, put his name on it, and put it in the freezer. Olaf would then put his shotgun in his locker and go to class. After school he would pick the bird up and take it and the gun home. Did you notice I said they put his name on the wrapping? It was because he wasn't the only one shooting winged creatures on his way to school!

A week later when A & B got together and hung out.

B: I never really believed all your stories about how rednecked the people in Spanish Fork are until I met your friend the other day and she told about her husband hunting on his way to school.

A: Yeah, it's true. They don't do that anymore, of course, but they still have gun racks in the back of their trucks.

Life & Love

Today was the first day without a million people around. Technically, yesterday was, but today the only people left were parents. It's the last day the kids will be home from school. Grandma took them to lunch and the movie. They sure are getting spoiled! Olaf & I ran some errands and he had an appointment with the plastic surgeon to make sure he was healing well. Everything went well. We got everything on our list completed except some items that were under the heading, 'Any Time.' I felt like we accomplished quite a bit today. I also felt it! I am so tired this evening that I'm ready for bed NOW.

The past week has been a roller coaster. I will write about it over the next few posts. All I can say for now is that I have never ever been the recipient of such an outpouring of love. Pure, Unadulterated, Perfect, Complete, Selfless, LOVE. It has been an incredible and exhausting experience. I had no idea my child had touched so many peoples lives and I had absolutely no idea that so many people cared about us. Our families alone were wonderful and the community support we have been shown has been so incredible that I can't begin to describe the love shown. Words would only downplay the experience I have had over the last week.

I will probably not keep the countdown going everyday, but for those looking forward to the movie, including me, here is an attempt to make up for the last while.

22 Days To Go!

An Ode to Olaf

While on lunch break with some coworkers I pried and asked one of the guys if things were getting serious with his girlfriend, if I wasn't being too personal. He got this big grin on his face as he said yes. It was the biggest, happiest, cutest grin. It reminded me of how much fun it is to fall in love, especially with The One.

I dated enough guys to know that Olaf was The One after not too long. Of course we didn't run off to Vegas at that point or anything rash like that. We waited for the honeymoon. But I knew, or thought I knew, pretty soon that he was The One for me.

I remember being so incredibly happy that someone so wonderful would actually love me enough to marry me. For years after we got married I always wondered when it was going to end. This was just too good to be true.

I remember an incident from our wedding day. A little old man came up to me and asked me if it was "True Love." Deep down inside somewhere, deeper than I ever went before, I felt that it was indeed "True Love" and that this would last forever. I've never regretted that day for more than five minutes.

We have been married for over 15 years now and it has been wonderful. I'm not going to lie to you and say it's been perfect every day, I don't believe those people at all. But I have been happier than I could imagine.

I know it sounds trite, but on that wedding day I thought I was as in love as I could ever be. I had no idea how wonderful love would be after 15 years. It's amazing how breathtaking it is to have a great partner with whom to share your life. I seriously couldn't imagine life without the man.

Here's to us!

Hunting Update

This year First Born went on his first official hunt! He was pretty excited and got to miss a whole week of school. Depending on his grades we will see if that EVER happens again. I talked to Olaf on Thursday when they were in Burley, the closest town to their hunting spot. He said no one had shot anything.

On Friday that all changed. Olaf & First Born saw a deer and started tracking that thing. They got close enough that First Born got a shot off. Of course it didn't kill the poor thing right off. Then they had to follow the miniscule blood droplets for a long time down a steep hill. (This will be a good story for the grandkids. I can already see it; It will be snowing thickly with little visibility, and windy, and cold, and steep. And the deer won't be a spike.) They finally found it and First Born took another shot. He blew the poor animal's leg off and finally took one last quick shot to finish it off.

They brought it down and today Olaf took it to the Meat Locker to be turned into jerky. Boomer's gonna be one happy dog!

Reasons Why I Love Olaf!

1. At least twice a week he gets home before me and starts dinner and helps clean up!

2. He comes home early to take kids to games, karate, and lessons.

3. He makes our bed in the mornings.

4. He gets the kids off to school two or three times a week since I need to be at work at eight and he can do some stuff at home before he goes into the office.

5. He calls me to have lunch once in a while. Now that I'm not tied to the house we actually get to see each other for lunch!

6. When I wear my shapewear, the newfangled modern-day corsets (I actually saw a lady on QVC claiming that women felt so wonderful and skinny in the stuff that they wore them when they worked out! That's so not a real woman!) and girdles, he comments that I don't need the stuff, I look great the way I am! I think that one is the best because even though I'm not perfect he loves me for me!

Olaf

I have decided to call Hubby by the name of Olaf. Whenever I was pregnant he wanted to name our children Olaf after his Great-Grandfather who immigrated to the US just before his Grandpa was born. He remembers his Great-Grandfather & Great-Grandmother a little. He remembers that his Great-Grandmother didn't speak much English. We have a picture of the family and there are six children pictured. The four older ones look to all be above the age of 10 and then there is his Grandpa and his Grandpa's little brother who are much younger, so the Greats were a bit older when they immigrated here. We also have a picture of his Great-Grandfather in his military uniform on a horse back in Denmark. It is a very distinguished picture. So, in honor of his Great-Grandfather I have decided to name Hubby after him, Olaf.

This morning I got a call from Olaf. He was in the mountains camping with the Boy Scouts.

"Morning Hon. I need you to do me a favor," he woke me with.

"Yeah," I sleepily relpied.

"I need you to get a pen and paper and write down the VIN on the truck. I locked the keys in the truck," he chuckingly replied.

I sat straight up. "What!"

"Yes, I did. But at least I'm not calling to tell you a tree fell on the truck, or we have two flat tires, or someone found and ate a rattlesnake, or the cops told us to get the Hell out of Dodge there's a murder suspect in the mountains near us," he laughed.

All of these things have happened on his Scout camping trips, among others. One of the other mothers once remarked to me, "I wonder if J will ever have a normal camp experience." I told her not while Olaf was his scout leader, but at least he would remember Scouts with fondness. Thankfully she agreed.

So, right now I am frantically calling the local Ford dealership to get an extra key made because I lost ALL my keys at the local city Fiesta Days while at the Carnival with the children. The dealership seems to be operating on it's own time and no one is answering despite the hours they have posted on the internet said they opened 15 minutes ago. What an eventful morning already!