Teenage Drivers

Witness the perils of letting teenagers drive.

 

I asked Olaf's step dad to look at it. Nothing's damaged except my paint job. Oh, and Middle Child's pride. Olaf's SD said not to bother fixing it until there's a few more dings and scratches. Augh! Don't say that! I guess it's only payback. My parents are probably rubbing their hands in glee and evilly laughing. Mwahahahah! I can hear it all the way from Vegas.

Bragging Rights

As a Mom I get Bragging Rights every now and then. It's a Mom's Privilege. Middle Child has completed the Project part of his Eagle Project. I wrote a week ago about how he was putting together a campaign to heighten people's awareness of Organ Donation and hopefully sign some more people to become Organ Donors.

He has worked so hard on this I was absolutely amazed! I wasn't sure he was anyone's teenage son. He called numerous places to ask permission to set up booths on June 4th. He even had to call a few Corporate Offices to get the Go Ahead. After that he had to call people to staff the booths. He easily spent 10-15 hours on the phone calling people. That plus he hunted down neighbors who he couldn't reach by phone. He was like a Tiger!

We also had to put together some sort of Display. We ended up making these to put at each booth.

That Saturday morning Middle Child and Olaf left the house soon after 6:30am to get the Gold's Gym booth set up since it started at 7am. Thank goodness the other booths didn't open until 10am.

Here's what one of the booths looked like.

We incorporated some of the Zero Fatalities things into the booth in an effort to get a few more people to buckle up also.

Here's one of the Gold's Gym groups.

Here's the Gold's Gym in Provo. These two are coworkers of Olaf's who were more than happy to take the whole 4-hour shift!

Here are a few of his friends at Fresh Markets.

Here's more of Olaf's coworker's at CAL Ranch.

Here's the Family helping at Macey's, not the Department Store but the Grocery store.

They sure are cute!

Here's Middle Child working the booth at CAL Ranch later in the day.

Here are some of Middle Child's friends who also worked a 4-hour shift at Macey's. He's got awesome friends willing to help out all Saturday afternoon!

Here's one of Calvin's friends with his Mom.

And Middle Child is working the Fresh Market booth with Calvin's favorite Scout Leader.

Here's another of Calvin's friend helping out that afternoon after a long day at work.

I was amazed at how gung-ho Middle Child has been about his project. We had to help him write things out but he had absolutely no problem calling people and stores. And once he got there he was aggressive in talking to people and signing them up to be Organ Donors. There aren't enough words in my vocabulary to tell you how proud I am of my son. He's just incredible.

Cookies

Sometimes. Occasionally. Not too often. Randomly. Mysteriously. A good trait gets passed down to your offspring.

Middle Child has been venturing into the field of baking. He came home yesterday and asked if he cleaned up really good, could he could make cookies? I said "No." We really didn't have time.

Today he brought a friend home after school. They asked if they could go to Shopko to buy some treats. His friend had finally turned an assignment in on time! Then they worked on some homework. When they were done they asked if they could make some cookies.

Letting them make cookies versus me driving them to the store? You know which one won out! Thank goodness there are a few teenage boys here to eat the cookies so I don't. Because instead of letting him make the tasteless generic sugar cookies out of my basic cookbook, I gave him a good recipe. And they are good.

Unfortunately he bakes like he does most things. He only reads the first line of the instructions. I told him to read steps 4-7 to see what needed to be done to get them ready for baking. Apparently he only read 4 and 5 because step 6 tells you to flatten the balls of dough. This was after he tried to add chocolate chips to the sugar cookie dough. The mean Mom that I am wouldn't let him. I told him to make Chocolate Chip cookies if that's what he wanted.

They don't look too bad, just not like regular Sugar Cookies. But then, I've talked about Middle Child and his lack of conforming to my version of Normalcy.

Quirks

Everyone has differences. We all need to try and appreciate those differences. One of Middle Child's differences from me is that he likes to Think Outside the Box. It drives me crazy that he doesn't think like me. That he comes up with ridiculous answers to questions and problems. That he doesn't respond the way I think he should. The way that he doesn't care about some of the things that I think are important. But it makes things interesting. And I think it's one of his strengths.

For example: He took this picture after Baby got some rank advancements at Pack Night. I know it's out of focus but it's the only one angled like this because I instantly told him to "Take the Picture Right!"

And he did. He likes not getting in trouble. But seriously? I wish the other picture would have turned out better because I like it. I need to relax a little and let him do things his way sometimes.

Tank saw that we were taking pictures and he sat and posed for a few! He actually sat there until we put the camera away. We didn't know we had a Dog Diva!

Middle Child's Talk

Middle Child has been assigned to give a talk in church. In front of the whole congregation. Remember how I've mentioned the LDS church has a lay ministry? It is imperative that people learn to get up in front of others without losing their stomach contents on a regular basis, so at 12 the kids start giving short talks in front of the whole congregation on Sundays. Middle Child has already done one before, but just one.

Several days before the talk I reminded him and he got to work on it right away. After about 15 minutes he asked if that was enough.

I looked over and saw about six lines on the page. "Um, no. I'm thinking you need about 1 1/2 pages before you have enough material."

He got back to work. I would occasionally glance over to see how it was coming. I recommended he get some books to help him come up with ideas. He just ignored me. He's done this before, I'm sure he thinks he doesn't really need my help. Then I looked over and noticed the spacing has increased from single to double. And then the font got a little larger. That left margin kept creeping to the right. He was on a mission and he got that talk done!

Next time I'll tell him it has to take three minutes, not 1 1/2 pages. One day I'll get this parenting thing right.

The Joker Strikes Again

If you'll remember I posted this little story about Middle Child last year. Well, the little Joker has struck again.

Last week we were somewhere important and I turned my phone off. On the drive back home I turned it back on and hopped on Facebook. Just to see if anything interesting had happened while I was away. To see if anyone had done something fun that I'd missed out on, again. To see if life was still the way it was two hours before. And it was.

But I had a couple notifications for comments on a post I had made several hours earlier. Except I couldn't remember posting anything. So I clicked to see what the hullabaloo was all about. And I started laughing!

I had let Middle Child do some homework on my laptop earlier in the day. And here was the result.

Donna McLean Hansen i love mushy gushy stories and mushy dates

August 26 at 5:17pm  · Comment · 

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  Dena Hansen, Abigail Vogler Hansen and Allison McLean like this.
• • 
    

    Jennifer McLean Allen You do????
    

    August 26 at 5:40pm ·  · 
  • 
    

    April Aagard Hartung since when? ;-)
    

    August 26 at 7:47pm ·  · 
  • 
    

    Donna McLean Hansen Clayton strikes again!
    

    August 26 at 8:30pm ·  · 
  • 
    

    April Aagard Hartung hahahaHAA!!
    

    August 26 at 8:32pm ·  · 
  • 
    

    Jill Hansen Holker You had me puzzled.. Nice work Clayton
    

    August 27 at 7:55pm ·  · 

Hopefully I'll learn my lesson the first time. Or is this the second time? I'm already doomed.

Science Experiments for the Young

The other day Middle Child came home from school anxious to show us some cool Vacuum Science Projects. Sister-in-law Nurse came over just as his re-creation of the experiments commenced. I was laying on the sofa, unable to see the kitchen, trying to recover from my Costco trip.

"Wanna see me crush a can without barely touching it?" MC asks SiL Nurse.

"I'd love to," and then turning to me, "Do you see what he's doing?" she asks.

I pop my head over the sofa to see an array of tools. He has a soda can, partially filled with water, sitting on a hot burner, a sink full of cold water, and pot holders in his hands. At least he's prepared for the heat. "What are you doing?"

"I have to wait until the water is steaming out of the can and then I put the can in the cold water with the opening in the cold water and it will create a vacuum and crush the can." You can hear the excitement in his voice.

I lay back down. SiL Nurse watches him for a minute. Then I hear some movement in the kitchen, and then a big "OOOPS!" SiL Nurse quietly busts up laughing. I pop up again. I see MC has dropped the can and pot holders in the cold water. "I'm gonna try again."

He restarts the experiment. "I need some gloves. Mom, hurry and get me some gloves!"

I really don't like to do things for the kids when I'm trying to rest, "They're in the closet, go get them yourself."

He runs to the hallway closet, throws everything out to find the biggest gloves at the bottom. He runs back in with them on both hands.

SiL Nurse asks, "Who's gloves are those?" She turns to me, "I can't believe you're just letting him do all this!"

"Well, he loves to do stuff in the kitchen." I look over, "Don't ruin those gloves, I think they're Dad's"

"Oh," a look of concern on MC's face, but not enough to stop him. He watches the can. He bends over to look through the small hole in the top and touches the hot burner with his glove. "Oops!" escapes his mouth as the glove smokes. SiL Nurse really starts laughing now. MC takes the gloves off.

I get up off the sofa and we both walk over to the kitchen. Perfectly rounded glove fingers are imprinted on my stove.

Between the science experiment and the grilled cheese grilled directly on the stove top earlier this week I think I'm due for a new stove, but to be safe I'll wait till Middle Child has moved out.

Help! I Need a Job!

Recently Middle Child has been trying to come up with ways to earn money. He is 12. He can't work at McDonald's. He can't work at Macey's. He could babysit if there were kids in our neighborhood to babysit, but there aren't. I talked to Olaf and we came up with a great idea. On the way home from Middle Child's play practice I told him that over dinner we'd talk about an idea for a way he could earn money.

After we had all dished ourselves some food and started eating, Middle Child asked, "So, what's this job that you think I can do?"

Olaf gave him the first idea. "We thought you could donate plasma in town."

Middle Child's smile diminished somewhat. "Does it hurt?"

I jumped in, "I've never given plasma, but I've given blood. It only hurts a little bit when they poke the needle in your arm."

Olaf then added, "It does hurt a little. But it's not a big deal. But if they don't do it right they could mess you up."

Middle Child's smile completely disappeared at this point.

Olaf added, "You're supposed to be 21 to give plasma, so when they ask you your age you'll need to add 10 years."

Middle Child got a little upset, "I don't think this is a good idea! Any other ideas for a job?"

I then mentioned, "You've got two kidneys and only really need one. There's a pretty good black market for organs. We could try to find out how to sell yours on the black market."

Olaf piped in, "You'll have to have surgery and probably not in a hospital since it's illegal. So we'll have to make sure we get someone that will take almost as good care of you as a regular doctor and hospital."

Now Middle Child looked completely dejected. "I don't think I should break the law!"

We paused and ate a bite or two of food.

Then Olaf brought up one more idea for a job for Middle Child. "Why don't you come with me to clean the office once a week. You'll have specific things you have to do. You'll have to do them really good. And if you do a good job we can pay you a certain amount each time."

Middle Child jumped out of his seat he was so excited. "That sounds like an awesome idea! I'd love to do that!"

I added, "Now, you'll need to pay your tithing and put some money in savings every time you get paid."

This didn't dampen his spirits at all. He was so excited at the prospect of what he thinks will be painless employment. Yesterday we went to Best Buy and he spent his time there figuring how long it will take him to earn enough money to buy a Laptop and his own account for World of Warcraft. At least he's got goals.

Bling Bling

Middle Child has always loved Sparkly and Bold Things. When he was younger, somewhere around six or seven, everyone was buying me jewelry for Christmas. Calvin had picked out some nice earrings for me. Middle Child wanted in on the action. He looked through all the jewelry cases at the store. He pondered. I had left to wander the store while the boys took care of things. When I came back Olaf pulled me aside with a little snicker.

"You may want to talk to Middle Child about going on a special date to help him pick some jewelry for you for Christmas. He's been looking tonight and he wants to get you the biggest, gaudiest, class ring available."

I was not surprised. He's like a crow in that regards. The sparklier and brighter the better. When we walk by leopard print bags, shoes, or shirts he's always suggesting I get that for myself. It's all I can do to not laugh at his suggestion. I politely tell him I would never be caught dead in that outfit. (I better make sure I don't let him pick out my funeral clothing.)

So a few days later we went to another store. Middle Child had a certain amount of money to spend. I looked at some of the jewelry. There was a necklace I liked, but when we looked at the price it was a little too much. So then we looked at earrings. I picked out a few I liked. Then I turned around to look at some other things while he wheeled and dealed with the cashier and purchased me something for Christmas. He was so pleased with himself.

We went home and he instantly dragged Olaf into our room to help him wrap the present. Later that night I told Olaf how I picked out a few earrings and let him choose the final pair. he looked at me a little funny.

"Earrings?"

"Well, yeah. The necklace I liked was a little too much so we decided on earrings."

"Huh. Well he picked a good one. You'll like it."

Christmas morning came and Middle Child was so excited for me to open his present. I opened it up and found the necklace we had looked at sitting in a pretty box. With his big blue eyes, blond hair, and adorable smile he had finagled his way into purchasing the necklace for much less than marked!

The Evil Force

A couple years ago Olaf walked out of work. And saw this car in the parking lot. He couldn't resist getting a few pics.

The license plate is pretty awesome. You see, we love Star Wars at this house. Baby has so many Star Wars Legos that it's ridiculous. But Middle Child absolutely LOVES Darth Vader.

So he had to get a pic of the hood of the Star Wars car. Pretty nice paint job! Once we asked Middle Child why he liked Darth Vader so much, hoping it wasn't because he was evil. His reply, you ask?

"Because he can make people do whatever he wants them to do!"

We tried to explain the difference between the the Evil Darth Vader forcing people to do things versus the Good side of the Force, the Jedi's, using the Force for the benefit of others. But being the victim of his older brother, he was much more interested in Making People Do Things.

A New Sweatshirt

The other day at the mall they were having a big sale.

So I sent Middle Child over to look at the Young Men clothes

and he found a sweatshirt right away that he Just Had to Have.

And then he showed me what it does when it's all zipped up and I couldn't say No.

Now you know who to turn in if someone looking like this

knocks off a gas station or bank or pizza place.

Who Tied that Tie?

Middle Child had a Choir Concert he needed to attend in dress up clothes for full credit. Of course Olaf wasn't home from work yet, so guess who got to Tie the Tie? Yours Truly. I searched the internet, I had done this one other time for Calvin and knew there was some easy cheat sheet somewhere in Google. But it wasn't as easy to find this time. I typed in "How to tie a tie" and got a million answers and several ways to Tie a Tie. I had no idea there were so many different Tie Knots. After many tries and lots of cursing I finally found the easiest knot and got it tied.

Look at how nice and straight it is. He looks so handsome.

I know it's nowhere perfect but it's good enough for full credit for class. I dropped him off at school, he had to be there 1 1/2 hours earlier than we did. I did come back almost a half hour early and still had to sit near the back. But that's ok, until it started I had short people in front of me. And then at the last minute an abnormally tall kid came and sat right in front of me! I had to keep peeking around him.

And then when Middle Child walked out to the stage I saw what had happened to his Tie in that 1 1/2 hours. He had played with it. Anyone that knows Middle Child knows that he can't keep his fingers still. They must always be playing with something, which wreaks havoc on his Ties.

I couldn't believe how crooked it was! All that work for naught!

But someone must have noticed because when he came back on stage for the final song it was fixed. Thank heavens someone saved his butt.

The Dance

I recently explained Middle Child's need to be home more than should be normal for any elementary-age boy. I was worried about how that kid was going to turn out when he grew up. Would he ever move out and go to college? Would he ever be able to hang out with kids for hours on end, playing games, making prank phone calls, talking about girls, going to dances...

But he grew up. Well, only up to 12, he's not real old yet, like 15, or 16 and driving, or 18 and at college. He's still home under my wing. But less so than in the past. Nowadays he can play at friend's houses for hours on end. But at one time in the past I was worried.

A couple weeks ago I decided I didn't really have to worry about that child anymore. There was The Dance at school. Middle Child was going. And he wasn't just slinking in and hanging in the back corner. He called a couple friends and invited them over for a Pre-Dance Party at our house. One of his good friends is a twin, and the twin is a girl. He even called and invited her to his Pre-Dance Party, but "as Just Friends." His words exactly.

I had a bunch of 12 and 13 year old boys at my house hanging out. So I got them some pizza and soda. They gobbled up the food. Then just before it was time to go to The Dance one of the boys called his Mom.

"Mom, don't you NEED me to babysit tonight?" pause "Ok, I'll be right home." Well, some kids weren't so excited about The Dance. He beelined it home to probably his first willing babysitting stint.

The rest of the kids piled in the car and we dropped them off at The Dance. We had a good laugh that Middle Child was so excited to go. A couple years ago we could not have foreseen this change in his behavior.

After The Dance he called me to report on the goings on of The Dance.

"I danced with Nine Girls. And a bunch of those dances were slow dances."

"Wow! Did you ask them all?"

"No, I asked seven and two asked me to dance."

"So, who were they? What are their names and do you like them?"

"I danced with J and M and L and S and C and R and W. I don't remember the rest of the girls names."

I guess I better start doing my homework. I'm betting the girls' names that he "Couldn't Remember" were the ones he likes. I gotta go and call his friends, find out who those girls were.

Agoraphobic-to-Be

When Middle Child was young he was a homebody. Most children are grounded to their rooms when they are in trouble. Middle Child would be grounded to the outdoors and forced to play with friends. He could only handle so much interaction with the outside world. He would have to come home and hide in his humble hovel after so much time in the outside world. Some days I thought I was growing an agoraphobic-to-be. Besides needing "his" time he also wasn't very good at telling people he was going home. He oftentimes would be in the middle of playing with friends and just go home. To hide. No one had done anything to upset him, he had just had enough.

One time when I thought he should have grown out of his rude departures I coached him into telling his friends that he was "tired" and needed to "rest" and that he would come play some more later.

Later that week he told his bestest friend in the whole wide world, M, what I coached him to say, verbatim. Not an ounce of deviation. A little after he left M came to his Mom, who happens to be my bestest friend in the whole wide world, and complained.

"Middle Child lied to me!"

"He did? What happened?"

"He told me he was tired and was going home to rest. But I followed him. I spied on him through the window. He's not resting. He's not tired. He's home playing the computer!"

My bestest friend laughed so hard and when she was finally done and had come up for air she called me to tell me the news. I laughed hard and long. At least he finally listened to me and followed my advice. Unfortunately, it backfired. Maybe I should just let him use his rude departures, at least that wasn't lying.

Make Sure You Log Off of Facebook when Family is Visiting, Especially Sneaky Nephews

We went to Boise for Thanksgiving and Black Friday. It was fun. It was wonderful. I love getting to spend time with my family since I don't get to do it very often.

We stopped by Littlest Brother & his New Wife's apartment to check things out. They have a pretty nice place. They are students and a couple computers were laying around with half finished homework on their screens. Hopefully they saved their work before we showed up.

Later that night my New Sister-in-Law and Littlest Brother stopped by Sister Homemaker's house to visit and eat yet more pie. I ate as much as possible and it still wasn't enough. I love pie.

New Sister-in-Law told us a classic story. They had left the same time as us and when they got home a little later that night she got on her computer and checked out her Facebook page. "Hey! M, why did you change my facebook status? Everyone's gonna hate me!"

He acted a little shocked and replied, "I didn't change it. I didn't touch your computer!"

"Then how did it get changed?"

"I don't know. Are you sure?"

"Oooohh yeeaaahhhh. Your Nephews and Nieces were over. I bet Middle Child did this."

"So what did he change it to?"

"Family visiting. Boring."

Fall Camporee

Hi, it's not the regular blogger, its better Me Bob. I'm usually middle child. Last Friday and Saturday I went on a campout and I had SOOoooooooooooooo much fun, especially dinner. We had chili cheese dogs! The best part was Saturday, we did geochaching, fire starting, cooking, and orienteering. For geochaching we found foreign coins and candy. For orienteering we found tootsie rolls. For cooking we learned how to cook bananas and apples with cookie dough. For fire starting we got sparkymobobers and made a small fire! Then we went home. Wait, I forgot they had rafts that were so fun! Hope you liked the guest blogger.