The Beginning of School

Baby started 5th grade this year. Maybe one day he will demand a new name on this blog, but in the mean time he's my Baby and always will be.

The beginning of a new school year is always an adjustment. After a summer of sleeping in and few responsibilities the children always buck the change back to normalcy. Can't really blame them. Sometimes I think it would be nice to live in a never-ending summer state. But life always smacks us back to reality.

After school I talked to Baby and asked him how he liked his first day of 5th grade.

"I hate it! Our teacher is mean! We aren't allowed to talk in class!"

Olaf and I didn't see any problem with that since that has been his main infraction since kindergarten (other than the fighting with that kid in class last year).

Baby was cranky that whole evening. I could have sent him to bed at 6pm and it wouldn't have hurt anyone.

The next day I asked him how school had gone for the day.

"Our teacher told us that we're fifth graders. We're not little kids anymore. She's our teacher and not a babysitter. That's why we can't talk in class." He didn't seem quite as upset as the day before. Things were improving and he wasn't grouchy that evening.

After the third day of class I asked Baby how school had gone that day.

"Our teacher's mom was one of Walt Disney's first 25 employees and Walt Disney considered his employees family and they used to go for free at least six times a year!"

After the fourth day of class I asked Baby how school had gone that day also.

"Our teacher said that everybody has an inner voice that wants to sing. I'm trying to find my inner voice and let it sing. We sang in class today and it was fun!"

It's official. Baby's teacher can do no wrong. He's in love.

Adventures in Shopping with Teenage Boys

Sometimes shopping with Teenage Boys is wonderful. You're in, you're out, you're done! Hallelujiah! If it wasn't for the grocery bill boys would be the best!

And then there's the times you need to find certain clothes for the Teenage Boys. Teenage Boys don't do well shopping. Most of them abhor the whole ordeal. And so do their Moms. But there's no choice!

I took Middle Child back-to-school shopping last week. It was the highlight of my week. If I was rating it according to the lowest point of the week.

We got to the store. I had scoped the store out a few days earlier. When we came in I was excited that the sale prices had dropped even more! Wow!

And then we tried to find clothes that he liked. We were searching for shorts because after our family trip I realized he didn't have near enough to make it a whole week between wash days. That's my goal in life, to have enough clothes to make it a whole week between washings. Of course he is very particular, only plaid shorts. We searched high and low. Once we found the things he liked we tried to find them in his size. That's where the luck ended. Apparently not only do I have the most common shoe size but he has the most common waist size, severely limiting both our choices.

Finally we had a handful of clothes to try on! We headed to a fitting room. I sent him in. Another mother with her teenage son was right behind me. Middle Child headed in and I didn't see him for a minute or two. The other boy came right out.

"There's no rooms in there, there all full!" he said.

"Is there people in the rooms?" she asked.

"No, there just full of clothes."

"Well, that's just because no one puts their clothes away. They're empty rooms."

"No they're not!"

"Trust me, the rooms are empty." Which was true. There were no boys or men milling around modeling clothing for their Moms, Spouses, Girlfriends, Mistresses, or anyone else.

The boy hung his head and reluctantly went in a room. I was kind of proud of Middle Child for already figuring this out since he hadn't come back out yet.

Apparently I thanked my lucky stars a moment too soon. He came out right after this exchange with the same complaint. Before we could have the exact same conversation he headed to another fitting room. After he came out making the same complaint we then repeated the exact same conversation with the same conclusion.

We spent a good half hour trying on shorts, shorts, and more shorts. Finally we found a few he liked. After all the shorts trying on we didn't have the patience energy to try on shirts. The first Friday of school is picture day and I was hoping to get the shopping for this crossed off my list. No such luck. I was just happy to round out his shorts to an even seven. Now he can go a whole week between washes!

Stay tuned for more Adventures in Shopping with Teenage Boys.

Boy Pants

While searching around different sewing blogs I came across these.

These lovely pants came with a whole tutorial so you could make them for your kid. The saddest part? These were on a little boy.The second saddest part? They're not jammy pants. I felt so bad for him. There comes a point in your life when you need to pick up new sewing projects and quit sewing "cute"things for your kids.

What To Do After the Last Day of School?

It's the third to last day of school. Apparently Baby got in trouble at school. Again.

I hear the message on the answering machine the next morning. It sounds terrible. I'm surprised they didn't hunt me down. I'm expecting a court date.

Olaf hears the message and is quite upset too. We discuss punishment. Baby is grounded for the rest of the week. That makes him cry because it's the beginning of summer break!

Olaf goes in to the school and talks to the Principal. Turns out the situation wasn't as bad as it sounded on the phone.

We talked and decided to let Baby choose his punishment. He can either be grounded through the weekend OR he can pull everything out of his room, go through it and get rid of stuff and put some things other places, and finally put some stuff back in his room. But not all of it. Not anywhere near all of it!

Can you tell which punishment he chose? The Positive Punishment. So far he's been cheerful and willing. He actually likes cleaning his room out although we've never been this thorough before.

As you can see there isn't much left in his room. Tomorrow he gets to finish pulling everything out and commence making "Keep" "Throw Away" and "Move Somewhere Else" piles. And he has to have a place for everything before it goes back in his room.

We're both excited. Me because his room will be clean for a few days! Him because he thinks he'll be done right away after school and will be able to go play.

I don't think he realizes how much CRAP he has in his room and how much of it isn't going back in there.

The Next Day: Mission Almost Accomplished! Now to just get rid of the stuff that DIDN'T go back in the Room!

Teenage Folklore

Middle Child came home from school with an awesome story.

"One of my friends told me about these two kids at school. They both had lip rings. One day when they were kissing their rings got stuck together. They couldn't get them apart cuz it really hurt. They happened to be outside the Science room and the Science Teacher came out to help them. He told them to undo one of their rings. They tried but it hurt way too much. Then he remembered he had just received a new acid for a science experiment. So he went and got his new acid and put just a drop on one of the lip rings and it melted the metal. Then the kids could finally pull apart."

I love that the stories haven't changed (much) since I was in school.

What stories have your kids told that you remember spreading as gospel when you were their age?

The Fight Without Witnesses

This has been a hard year for Baby at school. I'm hoping he learns a lot of lessons this year, which haven't seem to sunk in yet, and doesn't turn into a juvenile delinquent and spend time at "Juvey." I thought things were going better.

Then I got a message from his teacher to call her please. I didn't get the message until the next day. When I picked Baby up from school I asked if he needed to tell me anything about class yesterday.

"No, why?"

"Did something happen at school with that kid K? Or did you get sent back from class again? Did you go to Skills?" Skills is for Bad Apples who can't behave in class and he has spent more time in Skills the last two years than I care to admit.

Finally after grillling him he finally told me a story. But the way Baby tells a story is not the way most people do. He jumps around, he inserts useless info as if it has importance, he brings people into the story that have no relevance, he back tracks and jumps ahead without any warning. It's almost as if he doesn't want to tell the Real Story.

After about five repetitions of the same story, all different because they all included different parts, I finally was able to piece together what happened after school the day before.

Apparently the kid he's been fighting with all year, we'll call him K, was out front after school. Baby said he was out back on the playground with his friends. Someone came up, punched K, and ran off before anybody could see the perpetrator. Because of the ongoing feud between the two K went in and told his teacher that Baby punched him.

The next day at school Baby's teacher pulled him aside and talked to him. Baby swore up and down that he was in back playing and since K didn't get a look at the Inflicter of Pain, Baby was cleared of any charges. Once again we have escaped Suspension.

Two days later we were out with the family and Baby's best friend, Z. I asked Z, "So K tried to accuse Baby of punching him after school the other day? Good thing you guys were all playing out back!"

Z looked at me a little confused. I looked at Baby and told him he better teach his Alibis to be more convincing. Baby just kept smiling and saying "Oh, we were in back playing on the playground"

Z looked at Olaf and I and said, "I don't like to lie, at all." Olaf and I were stunned. Z poured out the whole story about how Baby HAD punched K because K had punched another friend and talked his way out of it even though there were witnesses and had escaped getting in trouble. Baby decided to mete out his own punishment after school.

As they walked off to get something Olaf turned to me and said, "You couldn't just let us live in blissful ignorance?!?"

I have never been so ready for Summer Vacation as I am this year.

Trouble

I got an email from Baby's teacher. I groaned. We've had a few problems this year with Respect for Teachers and Fighting with Another Boy. It's been a trying year but we're hoping by conquering the problems now Baby will not be a Delinquent by the time he's a Teenager.

Apparently in this incident he had been naughty while in another teacher's class and she had sent him back to his own classroom. His teacher talked to him about what had happened and then against her better judgment had him write a note of apology to the other teacher.

When we came in to talk to her it was all she could do to suppress a giggle when she handed us the note.

The Project

Tonight at approximately 7pm I remembered Baby had a Book Report due in the morning. I called him home. I asked what he was supposed to do for the Book Report. He couldn't remember. I texted my friend. Her son couldn't remember even though he had already turned his in. I finally emailed the teacher, hoping in desperation she would check her email tonight. And she did! She informed us that he was supposed to make a milk or juice jug into an animal from a book he read this month. We racked our brains. He's been reading Hardy Boys. Not a whole lot of animals in those books. We thought some more. And then I saw the Calvin and Hobbes books on his bedroom floor.

"Why don't you make Hobbes!"

Since we didn't have any better ideas we went with it. Hopefully his teacher will be understanding.

Hopefully she'll be very very understanding.

Science Experiments for the Young

The other day Middle Child came home from school anxious to show us some cool Vacuum Science Projects. Sister-in-law Nurse came over just as his re-creation of the experiments commenced. I was laying on the sofa, unable to see the kitchen, trying to recover from my Costco trip.

"Wanna see me crush a can without barely touching it?" MC asks SiL Nurse.

"I'd love to," and then turning to me, "Do you see what he's doing?" she asks.

I pop my head over the sofa to see an array of tools. He has a soda can, partially filled with water, sitting on a hot burner, a sink full of cold water, and pot holders in his hands. At least he's prepared for the heat. "What are you doing?"

"I have to wait until the water is steaming out of the can and then I put the can in the cold water with the opening in the cold water and it will create a vacuum and crush the can." You can hear the excitement in his voice.

I lay back down. SiL Nurse watches him for a minute. Then I hear some movement in the kitchen, and then a big "OOOPS!" SiL Nurse quietly busts up laughing. I pop up again. I see MC has dropped the can and pot holders in the cold water. "I'm gonna try again."

He restarts the experiment. "I need some gloves. Mom, hurry and get me some gloves!"

I really don't like to do things for the kids when I'm trying to rest, "They're in the closet, go get them yourself."

He runs to the hallway closet, throws everything out to find the biggest gloves at the bottom. He runs back in with them on both hands.

SiL Nurse asks, "Who's gloves are those?" She turns to me, "I can't believe you're just letting him do all this!"

"Well, he loves to do stuff in the kitchen." I look over, "Don't ruin those gloves, I think they're Dad's"

"Oh," a look of concern on MC's face, but not enough to stop him. He watches the can. He bends over to look through the small hole in the top and touches the hot burner with his glove. "Oops!" escapes his mouth as the glove smokes. SiL Nurse really starts laughing now. MC takes the gloves off.

I get up off the sofa and we both walk over to the kitchen. Perfectly rounded glove fingers are imprinted on my stove.

Between the science experiment and the grilled cheese grilled directly on the stove top earlier this week I think I'm due for a new stove, but to be safe I'll wait till Middle Child has moved out.

Bittersweet First Day of School

School started this week. Glorious Day! 

I took Middle Child over to the Junior High and dropped him off. I didn't even try to go in with him to meet his teachers or anything. Restraint is my middle name.

Then I took Baby over to the elementary school. We got to take him in and drop him off in his chair and even get a picture! He isn't embarrassed by his parent's presence yet. I've only got another year or two and then he will be, so I have to take advantage of this opportunity.

But we didn't get to take anyone to High School. Calvin would have started High School. He would have been signing up for Driver's Ed and Chemistry and Seminary and Dating 101. It was an "Oxymoron Day" as Middle Child would have called it, he loves big words. I can't believe that all those kids his age are in High School now. Whenever I see them I can't believe how big they have gotten. But then I remind myself that Calvin would be big like them also, and so handsome, like all his friends.

And then I remember how many lives he touched before he left us, so many I can't even believe it. And he even touched a few more lives after he left. By donating his organs he was able to give two people Sight, something they hadn't had in a while or possibly ever. It was a wonderful gift.

Early this year I sent in his name to the Celebration of Life Monument. It is a memorial for organ donors, living and deceased. The request even had to be notarized. This weekend they are having an unveiling ceremony for all the new names. We'll be there to see the monument for the first time. I'll post some pictures next week. In the meantime, enjoy your little ones! Hug them tight tonight!

Thank You Thank You and Thank You Again

Recently Olaf went on a field trip with Baby's 3rd grade class. He is a fun Dad and all the kids like him. This year he had two groups since the other Dad was pulled away on last minute business. He didn't mind cuz he's a trooper like that. I would have gone bonkers. It was an hour long bus ride, nothing more needs to be said. As usual the kids wrote Thank You letters. They're usually boring and barely readable. This year he got some really good Thank You's.

Apparently Chandler thinks Olaf rocks. Not quite sure what the picture is saying.

Another boy provided some lively pictures.

Not sure what it is but it's pretty original.

This kid had a "Stomp of an Adventure!"

This kids uses Elefannt Mail. Haven't heard of that company, have you?

Here's yet another kid that thinks Olaf is cool.

I never thought any of those parent-helpers were cool

when I was kid, who are these children?

Here's Baby's letter. Quite obviously the worst handwriting.

It was so bad the camera had a hard time focusing to get the writing clear enough to read.

My favorite letter was this one. All it said was that he was a Clone. That's awesome.

Who Tied that Tie?

Middle Child had a Choir Concert he needed to attend in dress up clothes for full credit. Of course Olaf wasn't home from work yet, so guess who got to Tie the Tie? Yours Truly. I searched the internet, I had done this one other time for Calvin and knew there was some easy cheat sheet somewhere in Google. But it wasn't as easy to find this time. I typed in "How to tie a tie" and got a million answers and several ways to Tie a Tie. I had no idea there were so many different Tie Knots. After many tries and lots of cursing I finally found the easiest knot and got it tied.

Look at how nice and straight it is. He looks so handsome.

I know it's nowhere perfect but it's good enough for full credit for class. I dropped him off at school, he had to be there 1 1/2 hours earlier than we did. I did come back almost a half hour early and still had to sit near the back. But that's ok, until it started I had short people in front of me. And then at the last minute an abnormally tall kid came and sat right in front of me! I had to keep peeking around him.

And then when Middle Child walked out to the stage I saw what had happened to his Tie in that 1 1/2 hours. He had played with it. Anyone that knows Middle Child knows that he can't keep his fingers still. They must always be playing with something, which wreaks havoc on his Ties.

I couldn't believe how crooked it was! All that work for naught!

But someone must have noticed because when he came back on stage for the final song it was fixed. Thank heavens someone saved his butt.

Bad Mom Incident #3,427 With No End in Sight

Baby brought a note home from school Wednesday. This means after school. After I've been to the store because my boys HATE to run errands (Hate is an understatement). I run errands on my way home from my Part-Time job before I have to drag boys kicking and screaming. When do the tantrums end?

"We will be making Gingerbread Houses on Friday. Please send some Candy and Frosting (if you made some) and a cardboard for the Gingerbread House."

I groaned. "I've already been to the store. We'll go tomorrow."

Thursday came and I got home from work with a grand project that would take me all night. Baby only reminded me twice that he needed candy. What's a mother to do without someone pestering her constantly? Two reminders is not nearly enough to actually get something done.

As Baby was going to bed he reminded me again. Now it's cold and dark outside. The last thing I wanted to do was go to the store. I told him I'd call Olaf and have him get some candy. Then I walked out of the room with that big project looming and completely forgot about the candy.

In the morning Baby didn't even mention the candy. I forgot too. I was thinking about that project I had finished and how to get it to work without anyone noticing. I sent Baby to school with his friend.

At work a little later I got on Facebook and saw some posts from other Mothers of 3rd graders: "Kitchen looks like it snowed on inside with powdered sugar everywhere from frosting for Gingerbread Houses." Great! I had completely forgotten! At least I knew that there were plenty of Stay-at-Home Moms who would make up for my slack. Thank goodness for them!

When he got home from school he had the cutest Gingerbread House. On a Piece of Cardboard! I hadn't even had the presence of mind to send a Piece of Cardboard. The whole Gingerbread Debacle just kept getting worse. Now I feel like I've got to make this up to his poor teacher that not only has to put up with Baby's antics in class, but now Baby's Mother's Antics of Non-participation. She just got the awesomest present I've even bought for one of my kids' teachers. A scarf and matching gloves. It's cold here sometimes.

The pretzel twigs in the bottom right corner are cannons. There was a fence to keep out invaders, but that has been eaten by baby. Apparently this Gingerbread house was stormed by the enemy at some point and he had to defend himself. Just when you think it's sweet and lovable Baby throws cannons and armies into the picture.

The Dance

I recently explained Middle Child's need to be home more than should be normal for any elementary-age boy. I was worried about how that kid was going to turn out when he grew up. Would he ever move out and go to college? Would he ever be able to hang out with kids for hours on end, playing games, making prank phone calls, talking about girls, going to dances...

But he grew up. Well, only up to 12, he's not real old yet, like 15, or 16 and driving, or 18 and at college. He's still home under my wing. But less so than in the past. Nowadays he can play at friend's houses for hours on end. But at one time in the past I was worried.

A couple weeks ago I decided I didn't really have to worry about that child anymore. There was The Dance at school. Middle Child was going. And he wasn't just slinking in and hanging in the back corner. He called a couple friends and invited them over for a Pre-Dance Party at our house. One of his good friends is a twin, and the twin is a girl. He even called and invited her to his Pre-Dance Party, but "as Just Friends." His words exactly.

I had a bunch of 12 and 13 year old boys at my house hanging out. So I got them some pizza and soda. They gobbled up the food. Then just before it was time to go to The Dance one of the boys called his Mom.

"Mom, don't you NEED me to babysit tonight?" pause "Ok, I'll be right home." Well, some kids weren't so excited about The Dance. He beelined it home to probably his first willing babysitting stint.

The rest of the kids piled in the car and we dropped them off at The Dance. We had a good laugh that Middle Child was so excited to go. A couple years ago we could not have foreseen this change in his behavior.

After The Dance he called me to report on the goings on of The Dance.

"I danced with Nine Girls. And a bunch of those dances were slow dances."

"Wow! Did you ask them all?"

"No, I asked seven and two asked me to dance."

"So, who were they? What are their names and do you like them?"

"I danced with J and M and L and S and C and R and W. I don't remember the rest of the girls names."

I guess I better start doing my homework. I'm betting the girls' names that he "Couldn't Remember" were the ones he likes. I gotta go and call his friends, find out who those girls were.

The Bottomless Pit

One week Calvin came home from school and told me he needed more lunch money.

"But I just sent you with a month-size check less than two weeks ago! What happened to all that money? Did you eat lunch twice every day?"

"Well, I turned in the lunch money. I don't know why it's all gone. I think someone was watching me from behind one day and got my code. I'm sure that kid is using it too."

That didn't seem real plausible but I went with it. I believe my teenage boy. The next morning I called the school to talk to the lunch ladies and find out why Calvin was out of money. I explained the story I was told and was greeted with laughter.

"That's a good story but he's been coming in for breakfast for the past three weeks now. Boy, he's pretty original! Have to give him credit for that story!"

8th Grade Stories

My Aunt sent me a copy of a story I had written back when I was in 8th grade. I'm kind of surprised at my morbidness, but then I remember a story my teacher read us that was along the lines of Edgar Allen Poe. I have a hard time coming up with original ideas, so I'm sure I thought along the lines of that story and came up with this one. I thought I'd share with you the beginning of my writing career, completely unaltered, which stalled for the last 24 years, until I started this blog. Please excuse all the commas, I wasn't sure how to use them yet, or ever. They are ever so enticing and yet we're supposed to rarely use them. The names are not original, but the story is fictional.

One week, I went to see Grandpa Robert and Grandma Eura, that's what I called them, I found out how he lost his hand. That one night will forever remain engraved in my mind. As I was sitting at the table one cold, January afternoon, sipping hot chocolate, he told me how it happened. One day he was working in a coal mine. A low rumble was heard from somewhere in the earth. Realizing it might be an earthquake, the men all ran pell mell for the stairs and elevator. While they were stampeding out, a rock hit Grampa Robert's hand and pinned his hand under it. He was terrified! He could see the wall caving in and burying him. As he screamed once more, his young friend, Billy, came running back. When he saw what happened, he knew there was only on thing to do. As Robert nodded, the axe he was carrying came down, and blood was gushing all over the place. He wrapped his arm in Billy's and his shirt, and they ran.

"You see," he told me, "the rock was so big. I was lucky I wasn't crushed under it." From then on he was teased by the younger children and called One-Hand Robert.

Robert was a happy man, despite his deformity. When I heard of his death, I went to his funeral. Later on, as his will was read, I was given an envelope which contained a short handwritten letter. The part I will never forget is this. "Your father is my lost son." As tears came to my eyes, I realized that he was my "dead" grandpa, assumed to be dead for so long.

What was I thinking? I obviously was still deluded by stories of weird people who kept secrets for no apparent reason. Maybe I had read "Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens that year, which I have never been able to finish. Why would someone not tell a long-lost relative they were related? There is no big dark secret that he's trying to save his grandson from. There is no horrible ending, just a revelation with no explanation as to why it was a secret to begin with. And from the last two sentences you can see that my writing hasn't improved since then, dangling modifiers or whatever they are called.

The Finished Cabinet

Last month I told you about staining a display case we had made for the Junior High in Calvin's memory. Finally, here are some pics of us working on it.
Here we are sanding. Thank goodness for electricity and sanders!

The boys enjoyed getting all kinds of dirty and stained.

They really got into their work!

Yesterday we helped put up the cabinet. It turned out very nice looking and matches another display case they already have.

Here is Todd the Cabinet-Maker taking things down on the wall.

Olaf is prepping the wall after everything is down.

Here is Middle Child helping attach the bottom base the cabinet will rest upon. Love the cowlicks, one of the many endearing qualities of Middle Child.

Here is Todd the Cabinet-Maker, his Assistant, and Olaf setting the first cabinet in place.

Here is Todd the Cabinet-Maker anchoring that heavy thing to the wall. Hopefully it won't fall on anyone!

The second cabinet went up and Todd the Cabinet-Maker went to work putting the two together, anchoring it to the wall while his Assistant, Nephew, and Olaf held that thing in place.

Now he's putting the finishing touches on anchoring.

Now the crown molding is being installed.

Here the children and I are cleaning it up. I must only have one shirt. Can you tell how I know that?

Now the kids are putting up the shelves and Todd the Cabinet-Maker is installing the tempered glass doors.

We even got Middle Child to do some glass cleaning.

Here is the finished product.

We put a little plaque inside.

Back to School

Spring Break is officially over and done. The children are back to school. That means back to waking up early and me attempting to get them to bed earlier than last week. That last part is hard. The sun is up later, it's gorgeous out this week, (as opposed to spring break when it snowed) and the kids do anything they can to stay up late. Baby has been nicknamed "Grizz" on the mornings he doesn't wake up happy. That ends up being the mornings when there isn't something special going on such as an Easter Egg Hunt, Christmas presents, No School, etc, which translates into most mornings.

The first morning back to school Olaf got Baby out of bed and dressed. Boy was he a Grizz! He whined and cried while Olaf dressed him. Then he traipsed out to the sofa and promptly lay down and threw the blanket over himself.

"Time to read scriptures!" I announced, our morning ritual.

"Uhhh, will you get mine for me Dad?" and Olaf handed him his scriptures and helped him find the right place.

We all took turns reading a few verses and then it was Baby's turn.

"Where are we?" as he finally looks at the book.

"Right here. You just need to read a couple verses, they're the shortest ones."

He pauses, looks, groans, and starts reading, "Blah, blah, blahblahblah, blah."

Olaf and I looked at each other, rolled our eyes, and just knew it was going to be one of those days.

6 Months and Counting

For the last six months I have been trying to recover from the nightmarish events of October 15, 2008. It has been a long road. And I'm still not at the end. But a "New Normal" has emerged in my life. There is still a big hole and it will never, no matter what, be filled.

I remember after the accident whenever a new day started, thinking "How, how can this be? How can life go on?" And I just wanted to crawl up in my bed and stay there, hoping time would stand still. But I knew that would never happen. So I got up and went to work. That was probably one of the hardest things to do. And as much as I hated being away from my other two boys, I knew if I stayed home I would fall into the depths of despair. I knew that if I went to work my mind would be distracted. So I went.

So many things have worked out for the best for me that it is amazing. God is watching and even though he had different plans that I did, he was watching out for me and helping me along, preparing me for what was to happen. I finished school in time to get a job just months before the accident. It would have been disastrous to be home doing daycare afterwards. I had been offered several jobs before I took the one I did. If I had accepted any of the other jobs there is no way I would have been able to take 2 1/2 weeks off after the accident. And as hard as it was to work after the accident it was probably in my best interest to work full-time; it provided a good distraction. Several months later I happened across a part-time accounting job and applied for that. And I was lucky enough to be offered that job. I am able to be home with my boys after school.

We have also done some other things. Calvin loved the Junior High. He had so many friends and had matured so much in the last year or two. We really wanted to do something for the school in his remembrance. A few months after the accident we visited with the Principal. After some discussion we decided it would be good to have a display case built for the school. At first that sounds kind of dumb. But after brainstorming we really liked the display case idea the best. It would be a permanent fixture that would benefit the school for many years. Their current display cases are full and it would be nice to have more room.

We also finally picked out and ordered a headstone for his grave. For months I would think about it and couldn't bring myself to go and pick something out. "This couldn't be my life. There is no way I should be picking out a headstone for my child." It was such a finalization. I just couldn't bear the thought of it. But we finally went last month and did it. It will take a few months since they had to special order the stone. They said it might, might, be ready for Memorial Day, but it can't be promised. I was fine with that. I didn't care about the day, I just wanted it to be right.

So while things haven't been what I planned for my life we seem to be doing pretty good. And most thankfully the other two boys seem to be doing great considering. They seem to have adjusted to our "New Normal."

Middle Child - the title alone tells you all you need to know

My Middle Child is the quintessential Middle Child. He reads this blog and absolutely loves it when I blog about him. Whenever I write something witty for an 11-year-old he gets all silly and acts witty for the next two or three days, trying to get me to write about him. It really gets annoying to always have him answer the phone this way. (Yes, click those bolded words to see how he acts on a regular basis.) He is always screaming for attention, especially in the way he acts all shy when he does get noticed. He knows people will try to draw him out, therefore paying him more attention. Whenever he gets a good grade on a test he calls me to let me know so I can laud him with praises, which I do cuz he's usually missing half the assignments leading up to the test so I don't really know if he's ready or not. And this is characteristic of Middle Children, starting and not finishing things, wreaking havoc on my high expectations of his schooling.

But being the Middle Child he has learned some skills that the others haven't. He has mastered non-agressive strategies to get what he wants. At Olaf's Christmas party he and Baby won a Nintendo DS. Now Middle Child had worked hard one summer and saved enough money to buy himself a DS, about four years ago. But this was a brand-new, shiny, red DS! After the party was over and the DS prize was secured he went to work on Baby. By the time we had gotten home he had talked Baby into believing how Wonderful! and Great! the old, scratched screen, missing hinge, DS was. Baby was all set to own the old one and let Middle Child have the new one all to himself. He is the master at negotiation.

We often wonder if he will be an attorney when he grows up. When I'm not upset, I'm not an Absolute person. I don't believe in Always and Never. But whenever I make any kind of statement he always responds with "What if. . ." Augh! It drives me crazy! I'm not caring about What If's when I tell him that no Aliens have been found in our solar system or that he has Guitar class at 6pm. After so many What if's I have to tell him "I don't entertain What If's anymore!" He stops for about a half hour and then starts up again.

Another aspect of Middle Child Syndrome is creativity. Middle Child is quite artsy and creative, by our family's standards. By anyone else's standards we would fail miserably. But this child likes acting and artsy projects. The picture at the beginning is of a spaceship he made. I found out about the project the night before it was due on accident from my best friend. Every year since her son and mine started school she would call me to ask me how we were progressing on a project for school and I would be completely clueless about any project! For this particular project he had to make something that reminded him of his State that he reported on earlier that year, which happened to be Nevada. The guidelines were 1) It had to be smaller than the child, 2) Have fun, and 3) Have fun! Those are really helpful. Don't get me started on school projects, hate 'em with a passion! If any of you know he loves Aliens so we decided to make something reminding him of the famous Area 51. Middle Child and another friend had decided recently that when they grew up they wanted to work at Area 51 so they could see all the aliens we had caught. So naturally, that was what he chose. So the night before I am at the store buying glitter glue and paper plates and bowls in order to make the spaceship. He made half that night and fininshed it in the morning in the nick of time for school. It wasn't dry, so he had to be careful. But he was so proud. And once again, a spaceship is unusual so he would be drawing attention to himself!

After this post the next few days are going to be torturous when he answers the phone.