The Epitome of Randomness

My boys on a drive home from Barry's.

Middle Child: Do you wanna hear the dumbest joke?

Me: Not really. (I get questions like this on a regular basis, not a monthly or weekly basis, not even a daily basis, but more like an hourly basis.)

Baby: That star looks like it's falling. (pause and stare) Yes, it definitely looks like it's falling. Please don't fall in the United States!

Middle Child: It's a good thing that when the sun goes out we'll still have eight minutes of light. Did you know that the nearest star is 400,000 light years away? Pluto has 12 moons.

Me: I didn't know Pluto was still a planet or that it had moons. They must not have been discovered when I was in school.

Middle Child: Yes, Pluto is a dwarf planet and it has twelve moons. I read that on a report a girl did at school today.

Baby: (still staring at night sky) Whatever you do, don't fall in the United States, falling star!

Middle Child: Did you know that you have to exercise for at least two hours a day in space? Otherwise your bones will incinerate. But you will grow taller because your spinal cord with get thinner and longer.

Me: (turning a corner) Wow.

Middle Child: Did you know that giraffes have seven bones in their necks? Humans also have seven bones.

Baby: Wow, if I could be an animal that lived around lions, I would be a giraffe.

Middle Child: Did you know that giraffes have the same amount of bones in their neck as humans? Those must be some long bones.

Baby: Maybe I would just be a lion.

Middle Child: So human beings are homo sapiens. Homo means human, right?

Me: (distractedly) Um, yeah.

Middle Child: So sapiens means being. You know what an alien is called? Hobo Sapiens!

Me: Do aliens ride trains around like hobos? (Middle Child has an incredible fascination with Hobos from the Depression, the ones that rode on trains. I was so proud to tell him my Grandpa rode the trains for a little while, not long, but long enough for Middle Child to gain a greater appreciation of him.)

Middle Child: Um, no. The easiest constellation to find is Phoenix. (looking at a constellation map of the night sky.)

Me: No, I believe the Big Dipper is.

Middle Child: (snickering) Yeah, I know.

For anyone who doesn't know, Barry's (a local burger joint) is less than two miles from our house, meaning less than a five minute drive. But my children are masters at how to fill time with random snippets of conversation.

OOOPS!

When I was a young girl of around 12 or 13 I found my Mom's genealogy laying around. I started looking at it to check out who my ancestors were. Being so smart I started checking dates against each other to see how things corresponded.

"Mom! Your grandma was pregnant when she got married!" I was a little shocked. Being young and naive I thought everyone waited till they got married.

"That is not so uncommon, it happens a lot," she explained to her first born with the embarrassing questions.

"She also married a guy 20 years older than her!" I was amazed that my great grandma was soooo cool. She had an Older Man!

"That wasn't such a good thing for the family. He died at the beginning of the Depression and Grandma had to support the family. It was really hard on her and my Dad ended up leaving the home as a teenager because there were too many mouths to feed and he felt like a burden on his mom." My Mom was so serious and trying to teach such important life lessons. I think that's when she started telling me to marry someone seven years younger since men die younger than women.

"Your Grandma married an older man!" I just had stars in my eyes and was in awe of my Great Grandma. She had an Older Man! She was so cool!

Now I admire her even more for completely different reasons. To survive and raise a family during the depression without a husband is something I admire and hope to never live through. (Knock on wood!)