The Epitome of Randomness

My boys on a drive home from Barry's.

Middle Child: Do you wanna hear the dumbest joke?

Me: Not really. (I get questions like this on a regular basis, not a monthly or weekly basis, not even a daily basis, but more like an hourly basis.)

Baby: That star looks like it's falling. (pause and stare) Yes, it definitely looks like it's falling. Please don't fall in the United States!

Middle Child: It's a good thing that when the sun goes out we'll still have eight minutes of light. Did you know that the nearest star is 400,000 light years away? Pluto has 12 moons.

Me: I didn't know Pluto was still a planet or that it had moons. They must not have been discovered when I was in school.

Middle Child: Yes, Pluto is a dwarf planet and it has twelve moons. I read that on a report a girl did at school today.

Baby: (still staring at night sky) Whatever you do, don't fall in the United States, falling star!

Middle Child: Did you know that you have to exercise for at least two hours a day in space? Otherwise your bones will incinerate. But you will grow taller because your spinal cord with get thinner and longer.

Me: (turning a corner) Wow.

Middle Child: Did you know that giraffes have seven bones in their necks? Humans also have seven bones.

Baby: Wow, if I could be an animal that lived around lions, I would be a giraffe.

Middle Child: Did you know that giraffes have the same amount of bones in their neck as humans? Those must be some long bones.

Baby: Maybe I would just be a lion.

Middle Child: So human beings are homo sapiens. Homo means human, right?

Me: (distractedly) Um, yeah.

Middle Child: So sapiens means being. You know what an alien is called? Hobo Sapiens!

Me: Do aliens ride trains around like hobos? (Middle Child has an incredible fascination with Hobos from the Depression, the ones that rode on trains. I was so proud to tell him my Grandpa rode the trains for a little while, not long, but long enough for Middle Child to gain a greater appreciation of him.)

Middle Child: Um, no. The easiest constellation to find is Phoenix. (looking at a constellation map of the night sky.)

Me: No, I believe the Big Dipper is.

Middle Child: (snickering) Yeah, I know.

For anyone who doesn't know, Barry's (a local burger joint) is less than two miles from our house, meaning less than a five minute drive. But my children are masters at how to fill time with random snippets of conversation.