Not Enough Shoes

The other day I went to Target for lunch. It's a great place for lunch. Not only can I browse and shop but it's the only sit-down Pizza Hut in the whole county. And Pizza Hut has a great lunch deal. For less than $6 you get more food than any human should consume for lunch. As I was browsing through the clearance men's section I heard a cart crash into a rack behind me. "Mom's letting their kids drive again?" I thought. As I turned to look at another rack of clothing I saw Sister-in-Law Nurse picking stuff up off the ground.

"Hey! What are you doing here?"

She replied giggling, "I saw you walk by, but I only saw you from the neck down so I wasn't sure it was you. So I kept looking all the way down and saw your shoes and knew right away it was you! So I tried to push my cart into you, but it didn't go far. That rack of clothing jumped in the way."

Right now you're thinking, "What a sad sad sad girl that she can be picked out by her shoes! What, has she only got three pair or something?" But it's not like that at all! I promise I have more than three pairs of shoes, not many more, but a few. There is a logical explanation and it was that she was actually shopping with me when I got the shoes.

One day we went to Famous Footwear, not my favorite shoe store, but they were having their Famous Buy One, Get One Half Off. We thought, Perfect! We can both get a pair of shoes 25% off! I looked all over and found a pair of sneakers that I loved. They were a great color combination, soft and cushy, and most importantly the shoes had a good arch, hard to find. I was sold, except they didn't have them in my size. I wasn't worried though, there were signs pasted all over the walls "Can't find your size? We'll ship it to you free of charge!"

So I took the shoe up to the register and asked the girl, "I love this shoe but need it in a 9½ , can you have that size shipped to my house?" I know, gargantuan feet.

She replied, "Let me look it up online." typing, pausing, more typing, "Oh, we have a pair up in our South Jordan store. Would you like me to call them and put them on hold for you?"

"Umm, can't I have them shipped to my house like the signs say?"

"Oh, we only do that for shoes in our warehouse. They aren't in our warehouse, only at our store."

"Really? Well, can someone bring them down here?" thinking of the $3.50 gas price. This was before the New Old Car and I wasn't driving that far for a pair of shoes. That would rack the cost up another $20!

"No, we don't do that. Would you like me to call and put them on hold for a day or two?"

"Not at all," I replied. "I'm not driving up there and if you won't bring them down then I just won't get them here. I'll find them somewhere else."

And find them somewhere else I did! I got them online for the same price with free shipping.

So, that is why she knew me by my shoes. Yes, a long story to explain a short story, I don't mince words.

And while I'm posting this, our cable and internet are inoperable.

My boys just hollered from the basement: "The cable's out?"

"Yes. The city's lame."

"What?"

"YES, THE CITY'S STUPID!"

"Yes they are! We neeeeeeeeeed cable!"

"You'll just have to watch a movie," I told them.

"What? I hope my boys survive without TV!" from Olaf. "What have I been teaching you? How will you survive when we have to live off our food storage and there is no electricity?"

Be Prepared, the Boy Scout and Olaf motto. And if you know Olaf, you know I'm not kidding.