Yes, We are Rednecks

An actual conversation while shopping with a friend (A). We ran into a friend(B) of my friend's from High School.

B: So there's this big wedding tomorrow that we're in town for. I live back in Virginia now but that's why we're here for Christmas.

A: How fun! Are you guys all ready?

B: Almost. They're having this Western theme cuz his new wife is into that kind of stuff. We almost scored with things to wear tho! Have you ever heard of that store CAL Ranch?

A: Yeah, it's one of the main stores in town.

B: (incredously) Really? (pause) Well, I guess he got us some nice cowboy shirts from there. But he almost got us Cowboy boots!

A: Really? What kind? I guess he decided he didn't want to spend as much since he just got shirts. Cowboy boots are kind of expensive.

B: Yeah, but boots would have been great. I mean, I live in Virginia, they would have been perfect.

A: They are pretty handy.

Me: OOOOH, You wanted the Cowboy Boots?!? I thought you guys were being sarcastic at first. I didn't realize regular people wanted Cowboy Boots.

A: Don't you like Cowboy Boots?

Me: No, I already live in Redneckville, like I need any help advertising that fact! I just didn't realize that other people who weren't rednecks would actually want Cowboy Boots.

B: They would be great for where I live.

A: I like mine but they don't have much traction on the bottom.

Me: I don't think you want grooves on the bottom when you're walking around a horse yard, you'd never get them clean.

B: So, do a lot of people wear cowboy boots in Spanish Fork?

Me: Yes. They are a pretty rednecked crowd, but it's slowly changing. In the past. . .
I then proceeded to tell them how Olaf used to take his shotgun to school. On his way he would occasionally shoot a duck or some other fowl. When he got to school the Lunch Ladies would wrap it up for him, put his name on it, and put it in the freezer. Olaf would then put his shotgun in his locker and go to class. After school he would pick the bird up and take it and the gun home. Did you notice I said they put his name on the wrapping? It was because he wasn't the only one shooting winged creatures on his way to school!

A week later when A & B got together and hung out.

B: I never really believed all your stories about how rednecked the people in Spanish Fork are until I met your friend the other day and she told about her husband hunting on his way to school.

A: Yeah, it's true. They don't do that anymore, of course, but they still have gun racks in the back of their trucks.


mommybake said...

Okay, there is NOTHING wrong with cowboy boots!! I don't have any at the moment - but would LOVE to!!

sally said...

We giggled.

denverallens said...

That is all so funny! We bought cowboy hats and are working on the boots!

JoAnn said...

The cowboy boots are fun. It's the hunting before school. At Modesto Junior College in the 70's, boots were fine, it was a farm area. But, I don't think there was hunting before school. What am I saying, I was the city girl, there may have been hunting before school there also.

Krissie said...

that is to funny! I want the cowboy boots for kicks to have fun!

Lonita said...

And I thought Iowa was about as redneck as it gets!