Unsent Letters

Sometimes I just wish that Calvin was on a trip and I could send him some silly letters that would make him and his roommates laugh. Every now and then I compose one in my head and get a giggle out of them. I'm sure they have computers in Heaven so I'm sending him a letter.

Dear Calvin,

Last spring when you got excited about mowing the lawn I knew something was amiss. You hate mowing the lawn. You keep begging us for a goat. You keep suggesting areas that you think should be covered with bark. You complain every time I plant a tree, one more thing to mow around. So, when you were excited last spring about mowing the lawn I knew something was amiss. I asked why you were excited because I know you hate mowing the lawn. You answered my question by exclaiming that we were buying a new lawnmower this year. You were so excited. Until I burst your bubble. Being the practical woman that I am I assured you we would be using the lawnmower until it inhaled its last gas and spewed fumes instead of revving to a start. You were not amused. But whenever I asked you to mow the lawn you did it and I'm proud of that.

This summer Olaf tried to start the mower for the first lawn mowing session of the year. It wouldn't start at all. So we went lawn mower shopping. You can take solace in the fact that we didn't buy a goat so Middle Child will still have to mow the lawn. We checked out a few and showed the boys an old-fashioned mower. It's a couple of blades welded between the wheels without any protective covering. They thought it was pretty cool, but then, they were only pushing it across the smooth tiled floor, not through a forest of grass. I'm sure they would lose a few fingers this summer.

The good news is we finally decided on and bought a new lawnmower! You would love it. It has a window in the grass bagger so you don't have to guess when the bag is full. No more waiting for it to fall off and spread cut grass everywhere. It also has a 'easy pull start.' If it doesn't start within two pulls they will replace the engine. You would have loved that when our old one took 10-15 tries to start last summer. You probably wouldn't even have to help Middle Child start the mower anymore.

I hope you don't have to mow your lawn up there. I bet you have a couple goats and they are much better about listening to you tell them where to eat and how much to leave. And if you do mow your lawn I wish you the fanciest riding lawn mower available in Heaven!

Love,
Mom