That Evil TSA

I've flown on the airlines recently. Amid all the hullabaloo about the Patdowns the TSA is doing to beef up security at the airports. I, thank goodness, was not stripped of my shirt like that little kid the TSA Agents wouldn't let through. I didn't get my "junk" patted down like that one guy who decided not to fly, or was he not allowed to fly? Not sure. I guess it depends on who you ask.

But when I came home from DC I had to go through one of those new-fangled scanners. I've been through them before without incident. No pictures showed up online of my image. No one stopped me and requested a full body search. I've gotten pretty lucky so far. I guess I'm not old enough to fit the "Grandma" stereotype that always seems to get frisked.

But when I came out of the scanner waiting to be cleared for my flight home, I saw the guy talk into his radio and walk off. And then a female employee approached me. Oh, that's not good, I thought.

"We're gonna have to do a patdown. Just the top half," she told me.

What?? I'm not wearing anything weird that would show up on the scanners, I thought.

She did a quick patdown. It was fine and not even slightly embarrassing or exciting. Made me kind of wonder what all the buzz was about.

When Olaf caught up with me I told him about the patdown, he'd been in a different lane. He asked if I knew what was suspicious looking. By this time I'd had a little time to think about it.

I decided it was my super-duper padded, add-a-cup size bra. Nowadays with all the boob jobs the TSA Agents don't know what all that padding in a bra looks like.

Fight Club

Middle Child informed me that his school now has a Fight Club. They are a little behind the times as those were more popular a few years ago, but nevertheless they have one. I asked him if he was a member and he responded in the negative. That's a good thing that he's not a member, but at the same time he didn't get invited to be a member, so I don't know how that bodes for Junior High and his friend-making ability. If, by chance, there are only two or three members, then I'm not worried. But if everyone in 6th grade is a member but him, then I will begin to wonder about those social skills.

I guess I should just be thankful he's not a member because the kids were informed that if they're a member they'll get suspended. I was kind of wondering how the teachers would know who the members were until Middle Child informed me that they're supposed to tattle on the other kids if they know who the members are. And I just thought the kids duking it out at recess would be telling enough. But apparently the teachers are trying to get the kids to turn on each other, hopefully they'll get immunity or something worthwhile for the trouble they'll be in when they're discovered by the Fight Club kids.

And then I wonder what they call the Fight Club? When I asked, Middle Child said it was called "Ultimate Fighting or something. . . I have no idea what that is." We don't watch much Ultimate Fighting or Wrestling at this house. I know they're different sports, but I don't know how. I got my fill of it when I worked at the Bowling Alley Bar and they played it on the big screen every Saturday night. Currently, Middle Child is reading this over my shoulder as I type and informed me it's called TUF or something. But I just googled that and that's actually Taiwanese United Fund as found here. I guess my Know-It-All Middle Child doesn't know it all. I love proving that once in a while. I'm a Bad Mom.

Tainted

Today I got this letter from Sam's Club:

"This letter is to inform you that we have learned today that RCBA in cooperation with the FDA has initiated a recall of its Baklava Assortment due to potential contamination of Salmonella.
. . .We request that you review your inventory records and segregate and return the item to your local Sam's Club for a full refund. If you have sold or shipped any of this product, we request that you contact your customers and notify them of the recall.
We apologize for any inconvenience and look forward to meeting your needs in the future."

AUUGGGHHHH!!!!! What if you already ate it! We, actually I, bought the baklava for Thanksgiving! We ate it for Thanksgiving! So that's why I got sick after Thanksgiving. I guess I can quit blaming the turkey.

Well, thank goodness that there is no Peanut Butter Baklava. That would be rather disgusting. If I really did get sick from eating it I guess I would have ended up in the hospital. Thank goodness for living in the land of Advanced Medical Care. At least I don't live in Africa. Although if I was rich I could still get great medical care as BrAngelina has shown us.

And that was so kind of Sam's Club to notify me that my two-month-old Baklava is tainted. And it was so kind of them to send a letter out the SAME DAY they learned of the contamination, although I didn't get it for over a week, love Spanish Fork USPS. But their fears were unfounded. I ate most of that Baklava and didn't get a single bit sick, not even from consuming so much sugar and butter within a few days. Just gained another love handle.

Teacher Warnings

Baby found out his two best friends are in his 2nd grade class this year. He is so excited! He even wrote a note to his teachers.

Warning. Do not let me sit by Z or K. We will talk. In the morning. And afternoon.

If only all kids were so honest!