What To Do After the Last Day of School?

It's the third to last day of school. Apparently Baby got in trouble at school. Again.

I hear the message on the answering machine the next morning. It sounds terrible. I'm surprised they didn't hunt me down. I'm expecting a court date.

Olaf hears the message and is quite upset too. We discuss punishment. Baby is grounded for the rest of the week. That makes him cry because it's the beginning of summer break!

Olaf goes in to the school and talks to the Principal. Turns out the situation wasn't as bad as it sounded on the phone.

We talked and decided to let Baby choose his punishment. He can either be grounded through the weekend OR he can pull everything out of his room, go through it and get rid of stuff and put some things other places, and finally put some stuff back in his room. But not all of it. Not anywhere near all of it!

Can you tell which punishment he chose? The Positive Punishment. So far he's been cheerful and willing. He actually likes cleaning his room out although we've never been this thorough before.

As you can see there isn't much left in his room. Tomorrow he gets to finish pulling everything out and commence making "Keep" "Throw Away" and "Move Somewhere Else" piles. And he has to have a place for everything before it goes back in his room.

We're both excited. Me because his room will be clean for a few days! Him because he thinks he'll be done right away after school and will be able to go play.

I don't think he realizes how much CRAP he has in his room and how much of it isn't going back in there.

The Next Day: Mission Almost Accomplished! Now to just get rid of the stuff that DIDN'T go back in the Room!

The Creature From the Processed Food Box

Last night Baby's best friend, Z, was over at dinnertime. What passes for dinnertime at this house is usually bedtime for lots of other people. So I figured he had already eaten and was hungry again. So as I prepared food for my two offspring I asked my Wish-He-Was-Here-For-Dinner-Every-Night Adopted Son if he wanted to eat too.

He did, of course.

So I grilled some brats and hamburgers for everybody. And we chowed because by nightfall we were all starving.

After dinner he thanked me for dinner and added, "Please don't tell my Mom I ate dinner here. I didn't really like her Hamburger Helper."

I told him I'd keep our secret locked up inside me somewhere. I think it snuck out the back-door though.

Then both of my children asked, "What's Hamburger Helper?"

I Want My 20 Dollars!

The other day Middle Child realized that he was missing $20. He came to me and explained what had happened.

"I had it in my pocket last week and put it on my bathroom counter and left it there for probably five days. Now it's missing. I know Baby took it."

Whenever he loses something he instantly blames his brothers. After fighting with the brother and waiting a few hours it almost never fails to show up somewhere in his room.

Once again i explained to him that he can't blame anyone for taking his money. He didn't see Baby or anyone else take the money, and he left it out in plain sight. I listed all the people that had been through the house in the last five days and the list was full of kids his age and younger. A $20 bill left laying around is just too tempting. He went and searched his room. He came back up and complained again that he couldn't find it and that Baby must have taken it.

A little later when I was coming down the hall to where the kids were I heard Baby insisting that he "didn't take it!"

"Don't you dare blame anyone!" I told him. "I really don't think he took it and you left it laying around. Hopefully you'll learn to put your money away."

Throughout the day when I would wander into a room where both the boys were it would be the same situation; Middle Child blaming Baby for the loss of his money and Baby vehemently denying the charge. This pretty much went on all day long.

That night they finally quit fighting about the money and we all sat down to dinner. After dinner Olaf told the boys to fill the bird feeder. They don't mind doing that so they hurried out to fill it up.

When we sent the kids to bed a little later Middle Child came storming back up the stairs and down the hall, "Mom! Come see what Baby did to my bed!"

Sigh and Groan. "Can you just tell me?"

"He put bird food in my bed!"

I turned to Baby and exasperatedly asked, "Why did you put bird food in his bed? You know that's wrong."

"I was just so sick and tired of him blaming me for taking him money. I just got so mad I couldn't help myself."

I was completely fed up with the fighting over the money and looked at Middle Child and said, "You pretty much deserved that. Take care of it yourself. Maybe next time you won't blame anyone."

But Olaf heard what was going on and he came out and said "Two wrongs don't make a right. Baby go clean up the bird food right now."

Sometimes I get so tired of the same fights that it's good to have Olaf around. By the end of the night the Referee needs to be replaced.

The Project

Tonight at approximately 7pm I remembered Baby had a Book Report due in the morning. I called him home. I asked what he was supposed to do for the Book Report. He couldn't remember. I texted my friend. Her son couldn't remember even though he had already turned his in. I finally emailed the teacher, hoping in desperation she would check her email tonight. And she did! She informed us that he was supposed to make a milk or juice jug into an animal from a book he read this month. We racked our brains. He's been reading Hardy Boys. Not a whole lot of animals in those books. We thought some more. And then I saw the Calvin and Hobbes books on his bedroom floor.

"Why don't you make Hobbes!"

Since we didn't have any better ideas we went with it. Hopefully his teacher will be understanding.

Hopefully she'll be very very understanding.

Door Bell Ditching

Calvin started a time-old tradition that would probably get him arrested in any town larger than ours. Door Bell Ditching. Now Baby likes to do it too. He did learn from the Master. My neighbor told me this story about him from a couple years ago.

One day her and her husband were home without any kids. Pretty soon the doorbell rang and then she heard someone running across the front porch and away from the door.

"Hey, you gonna get that?" her husband asked from the other room.

"No, it's just Baby doorbell ditching."

Two minutes later the doorbell rang again and once again she heard footsteps running across the front porch, away from the house. Again she ignored the door.

And then a third time the doorbell rang and more footsteps away from the house.

Then a couple minutes later the phone rang. She answered.

"Hi. This is Mary (not her real name) and I'm trying to ask your son to the Girl's Choice Dance. Will you please answer the door?!?"

If You Open It, Close It

Yesterday morning I was up before everyone else. It was quite nice and quiet in the house and i was enjoying it. Eventually the rest of the rest of the family got up too. Middle Child was the last to get out of bed, he is a teenager. But within minutes of his being out of bed he had already riled me up. He opened the door, went into the laundry room, got whatever he needed, walked out, and tried to go downstairs.

I hollered after him, "Shut the door!" Olaf shot me daggers since I was already raising my voice and the kid hadn't been up for ten minutes. He isn't around near enough to understand what is going on.

"Oh, sorry," and he promptly came back and shut the door.

For some reason this is a daily occurrence for us. He opens a cupboard and leaves. He opens a drawer and walks away. I've been repeating this phrase at least a half a dozen times a day to him over the past several weeks. But it hasn't sunk in. That fateful Saturday morning I happened to be on the computer and decided to post what I tell him constantly. I was amazed at the storm it created!

Apparently I am not alone. There are many other frustrated mother's out there. Here's the stream of responses I received. It made my day that night when I read them all!

Donna

If you open it, close it. Why is this such a mystery to kids?

Yesterday at 10:47am ·  ·  · Comment

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  Cindy, Bruce and Donna like this.
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    Juanita and/or husbands...........
    

    Yesterday at 11:00am · 
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    Heather Good question, how about if you drop it, pick it up or spill it or the list could go on and on!!!
    

    Yesterday at 11:23am · 
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    Jennifer I guess you need another note on the container!
    

    Yesterday at 11:26am · 
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    Donna What gets me is I have a child that when they don't like something in their room and need to get rid of it, they put it in the hall so that the fairy get rid of things will take it away!!! drives me nutts!!!
    

    Yesterday at 11:31am ·  ·  2 people
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    Suzanne I hear you!!
    

    Yesterday at 12:26pm · 
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    Lindsay I think my heating bill was so high this month because my boys always forgot to close the back door.
    

    Yesterday at 12:52pm · 
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    DaNae I have a hard time watching A Christmas Story because that dang kid opens the mailbox, checks the mail, puts it back into the mailbox and then leaves the mailbox open. I spend the rest of the movie shouting at him! Brad says he's fine with the mailbox but when the kid leaves his gun in the snow...
    

    Yesterday at 1:33pm ·  ·  1 person
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    Jen Bo oooo how I wish i knew! LOL
    

    Yesterday at 2:06pm · 
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    Lisa I hate it when they leave an empty box in the pantry or fridge. Why can't they just throw it out.
    

    22 hours ago · 
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    Lindsay Argh! I am getting angry just thinking about it!
    

    21 hours ago · 
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    Rachel LOL
    

    6 hours ago · 
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Awesome Christmas Presents

Christmas Eve Olaf ran to the store to get one more gift for the little ones. I had no idea what he was getting them until they opened the Christmas morning.

These were the first presents they opened.

It was practicality at it's best.

Olaf had cleaned bathrooms on Christmas Eve and decided the boys needed new toilet seats.

As soon as all the unwrapping was done he taught those boys a new skill. How to install toilet seats.

It was just what they wanted to do on Christmas Day.

They didn't mind not playing their video games.

Or reading their stack of books.

They were happy to learn a new skill. And now their bathrooms don't scare me quite as much.

Christmas Shopping

There has been an item on sale at Target this week that I have been trying to secure for the boys for Christmas. I've already been to the store three times and they've been out of stock every time. This morning I got smart. I called them as soon as I got to work.

"Do you have any of Item Z in stock today?" I asked.

"Yes, we do have those."

"Do you have at least two?" I asked.

"Yes, we have at least two." I love that he didn't volunteer that they had 20 or 50 or 3.

"How long do you think you'll have those in stock today?"

"I don't know. I would come. Right. Now." He said it just like that. I felt like someone was reading me a blog with all that fancy-dancy punctuation that's so trendy.

Needless to say I hightailed it out of there and got two Item Z's for Christmas morning.

Duct Tape Wallets

What is this mess you ask? Well, the cake frosting was delicious but the cake itself didn't turn out so well. So we resorted to eating the frosting off the top before I threw the whole thing away. Oh, you mean the red stuff! Why it's duct tape. Baby decided he'd try his hand at making duct tape wallets. These are some of his tries.

Olaf helped him and even found a youtube video for him to watch. He had a lot of fun making these and improving on the original design to make other things too, like change holders that you can stick anywhere.

He's so dang serious about it that I couldn't help but take a picture of him slaving away. As soon as he had made his first wallet Middle Child had the brilliant idea of selling them.

I think it's going to take a little more practice. But he's willing to try! Hopefully duct tape isn't too expensive.

4-Wheeler

He's only Nine! I'm really looking forward to his Teenage Attitude!

Anyone Have an Outlet Handy?

When I was looking for a new car at the end of last year I would drag at least one kid with me. This way we could check on leg room in the backseat.

One day Middle Child and I ended up at the Ford dealership in town. Of course it had snowed about a foot the day before and the cars were in the process of being uncovered and parking lot plowed. So the awesome salesman brought us inside to look at the hybrid Fusion they had on the showroom floor. He knew I didn't want a hybrid, but they were almost the same when just looking at them. 

I climbed in the front and Middle Child climbed in the back, to check out the legroom. And since he can't be anywhere without touching things he flipped a plate cover and found this below it.

The excitement in his voice as he called for me was barely contained.

"Guess what is back here!?!?!?!? An OUTLET! If we forget to charge our DSi's we don't have to worry about it! We can just bring out home chargers!"

The important things for boys.

Science Experiments for the Young

The other day Middle Child came home from school anxious to show us some cool Vacuum Science Projects. Sister-in-law Nurse came over just as his re-creation of the experiments commenced. I was laying on the sofa, unable to see the kitchen, trying to recover from my Costco trip.

"Wanna see me crush a can without barely touching it?" MC asks SiL Nurse.

"I'd love to," and then turning to me, "Do you see what he's doing?" she asks.

I pop my head over the sofa to see an array of tools. He has a soda can, partially filled with water, sitting on a hot burner, a sink full of cold water, and pot holders in his hands. At least he's prepared for the heat. "What are you doing?"

"I have to wait until the water is steaming out of the can and then I put the can in the cold water with the opening in the cold water and it will create a vacuum and crush the can." You can hear the excitement in his voice.

I lay back down. SiL Nurse watches him for a minute. Then I hear some movement in the kitchen, and then a big "OOOPS!" SiL Nurse quietly busts up laughing. I pop up again. I see MC has dropped the can and pot holders in the cold water. "I'm gonna try again."

He restarts the experiment. "I need some gloves. Mom, hurry and get me some gloves!"

I really don't like to do things for the kids when I'm trying to rest, "They're in the closet, go get them yourself."

He runs to the hallway closet, throws everything out to find the biggest gloves at the bottom. He runs back in with them on both hands.

SiL Nurse asks, "Who's gloves are those?" She turns to me, "I can't believe you're just letting him do all this!"

"Well, he loves to do stuff in the kitchen." I look over, "Don't ruin those gloves, I think they're Dad's"

"Oh," a look of concern on MC's face, but not enough to stop him. He watches the can. He bends over to look through the small hole in the top and touches the hot burner with his glove. "Oops!" escapes his mouth as the glove smokes. SiL Nurse really starts laughing now. MC takes the gloves off.

I get up off the sofa and we both walk over to the kitchen. Perfectly rounded glove fingers are imprinted on my stove.

Between the science experiment and the grilled cheese grilled directly on the stove top earlier this week I think I'm due for a new stove, but to be safe I'll wait till Middle Child has moved out.

Back to School Afternoon

Today my children started school. Have you ever seen that commercial from Staples? It is a small sample of how I feel.

The afternoon before I took Middle Child over to the Junior High to check out his classes, find his locker, and get it decorated. Decorations for a Teenage Boy includes a White Board, Magnetic Pencil Cup, and Colored Markers. I insisted he bring all his stuff to school so he wouldn't be weighed down this morning. 

Being a typical teenager he huffed and said "I"ll bring it tomorrow."

"No, you'll take it this afternoon so you don't have to try and do it tomorrow while you're hurrying to class." I insisted again.

"No Mom!" huffing and sighing from the Middle Child.

"Well, we'll take the stuff to school with you and then let you wander around..."

We all climb in the car. As soon as we get to the school Middle Child hops out. He high tails it into the school, at least 10 feet in front of us.We all enter the school, us a few feet behind Middle Child. he frantically searches for his locker, hurrying.

Finally, "Here's my locker!" He sighs with relief. We help him put all his stuff in his locker, getting him ready for his first big day of school.

We shut the locker. He starts to head out to find his classes, his back turned to us.

"Middle Child!" pause "Middle Child!" He slows down. I grab his arm and he keeps looking the other way. "Middle Child!"

"What!" he finally stops.

I start to tell him to call me when he's done but he won't look at me. Quietly I say "Would you please turn around and look at me."

"What do you want?"

"I just want to tell you to call me when you're done and I'll pick you up. But I'd like to tell your face, not your back."

"Fine. I'll call."And he's off.

Despite my best intentions I have raised a bona fide teenager.

Happy Anniversary! from the Kids

For my anniversary my kids decided to surprise me.

With a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant you ask? No.

With movie tickets to a new movie? No.

With breakfast in bed? No.

With a clean house? Almost, but not quite.

They wanted to surprise me with one of their favorite activities.

Laser Tag! The game of Champions! And Little Boys! and Husband who haven't grown up!

Remember how they surprised me? I wasn't dressed appropriately at all. I had a white t-shirt on. And heeled sandals. But thank goodness no one else was really dressed for the event either.

First thing I noticed were the black socks. "What? Is he trying to be Middle Child on Sunday?" You see MC may change all of his clothes after church but he leaves his black socks on and I laugh. Every Single Sunday. Olaf replied that he is in Laser tag mode.

At least MC's friend is also wearing a white shirt. And he even knew what we were doing! Obviously not a veteran.

And Olaf was just dressed in regular clothing. He must have felt sorry for me and decided not to go all black and beat everyone.

They called our names too quickly for me to have someone snap my pic so I had to do it in the mirror at home. Notice the heel on the sandal? You may think that's nothing but you probably wear heels on a regular basis. I do not.

So they quickly called our names and paired us with three other people. The kids decided that a Kid v. Adult game was in order. There were four of each so it worked out perfectly. After telling us no running, no foul language, no hitting, etc. etc. etc. they let us out! Or should I say in?

I haven't played laser tag in probably 15 years. The sport has come a long ways. No more recharging. Much more flexible shooting. In all, it was FUN!

And somehow Middle Child got First Place. I think it's all those video games. Maybe he can be a fighter pilot one day.

Parenting from Afar, a.k.a. Parenting from a Work Chair and Phone

I decided the boys needed to get up early. They start school in two short weeks. They need to acclimate to getting up earlier than 11am. They especially need to go to sleep at night before midnight. Despite my best intentions Summer always deteriorates into me being the first to bed. Bedtimes should start with the youngest going to bed first, not the oldest! I may rethink my strategy and let the boys sleep in after this week's adventures. If they're still alive.

Here's a sampling of my work calls one morning this week:

9:35am     Baby calls from home:  Mom! Middle Child (MC) is yelling at me to help clean up!

                Me:   I did tell you guys to clean the basement family room. It's pretty messy. It needs it.

9:37am    MC:   Mom! Baby is yelling at me to finish breakfast and help him clean up!

                Me:   Why are you eating so late? Hurry and finish and then go clean up. That's your chore today. 

                         (I love how their stories don't match)

9:41am    Baby:  MC yelled at me for not helping clean and I am! And he told me I can go to Heck.

                Me:    You two need to try and get along while the basement gets cleaned up, it's really messy. No more 

                           calling each other names. Let me talk to MC.

               Baby calls for his brother loud enough for everyone else in the office to hear without being on speaker 

                            phone.

               MC:      What Mom?

               Me:       Please get along with your little brother and clean the basement. Otherwise you may not get to go 

                            to the pool tomorrow.

               MC:       I don't care if I go to the pool. (you can hear the smirk in his voice)

               Me:        That's fine, I can take the computer away AGAIN.

               MC:       Fine (sulkily). We'll get it cleaned up! (huff huff)

9:45am   Another phone call along the same lines

9:48am   Another phone call. More threats.

9:52am    Another phone call. More accusations. Everyone sent to their room until I get home.

9:54am    Another phone call from MC's cell phone. I answer: 'WHAT!"

               Nothing on the other end.

               Me:        Hello!  Hello!  (pause) Anyone there?

               Just as I'm about to hang up I hear something. Soft. Wimpering. Finally, an incredibly soft voice: "Mom, 

                              Baby threw something at the back of my head."

               Me:         What was it?

               MC:        I don't know. It hurts.

               Me:         Are you bleeding?

               MC:        I don't think so. (pause while he checks) Nope. Just a tiny bit of blood.

               Me:         (In my best loving motherly voice) Maybe you'll quit fighting with Baby. Now go to your room now 

                               until I get home. 

9:56a.     I call the house phone to talk to Baby. Takes three calls for him to answer.

               Me:         You need to be in your room. You can't be throwing things at your brother.

               MC:        If he wouldn't make me lose my temper! I wouldn't do that!

               Me:         It's your temper and he can't make you lose it. Now get in your room and stay there until I get 

                              home.

9:58am    I call MC's cell phone to check on the patient.

               Me:         How are you feeling?

               MC:        I'm fine. (no crying or sniffling, totally recovered)

               Me:         All right. You need to stay away from Baby. Stay in your room until I get home. Wait! Wait! Wait! 

                              (he has a bad habit of hanging up before conversations are finished, especially when not going 

                              his way.) Walk the Dog. For a half hour. Wait! Walk him for at least a WHOLE HOUR!

               MC:        Ok.

10:02am   Baby:      MC is running away!

                Me:         No, I sent him to walk the dog so you two would quit fighting.

                Baby:      No, he said Good-bye when he left. And I know his Good-bye's. He's running away!

                Me:         (Laughing out loud! MC just has to rub it in that he can leave and Baby's stuck in his room) He's 

                               not running away! Now read your book in your room. He'll be back soon.

And that was the last I heard from them the rest of the morning. By the time I got home the chores were done to the boy's specifications so they only needed a little help finishing. And all feelings were back to normal. Now, do I let them sleep the rest of the summer away so they don't fight?

Baseball in Spanish Fork

Baseball in Spanish Fork is a little crazy. People here are fanatical about this sport. And it's known the whole county over. Baby has enjoyed his first year of Little League. And it's been fun to watch their team improve over the season.

They have a great coach who's worked hard with the kids and tried to teach them all the basics. He even taught them how to 'take a knee.' But regardless Baby's team was last in their division. This week they started City Tournament. Those of us Mom's who have watched a few painful games were willing to let them lose both games and be done for the year.

Such was not our fate. The team has finally started to Shine! They won their first game by a landslide. To begin with we were all annoyed that it was another 8:30 pm game. By this time of night the 3rd and 4th graders are just tired. And to make matters worse this game didn't start until 9 pm. So we were there until almost 11 pm. So it came as a shock when we won!

We moved on down the bracket. We played the next day. And we won again! This team was pretty good and already assured a spot on the State Tournament which we sure weren't. It was kind of fun.

One of the fun parts of the baseball season is getting to know the other families of the team members and watching each of the boys improve. Or break bones. Not our child this year. Baby has really improved and now that the season is almost over he kind of knows what he's doing. That's usually how it works. But he has had a lot of fun and been quite entertaining for the parents in the stands.

For instance. The last game we played. Baby got a run. He loves it when he gets to slide into home base. He loves getting his pants all dirty. But for some reason he didn't slide into home this time. I'm not sure if something got in his way or if he was just entertaining all the adults. But he Rolled over home base! As everyone in our team's stand laughed and cheered I got several comments from different parents:

"He's my favorite to watch!"

"I LOVE him!"

"Only your boy!"

"He's always so much fun!"

Apparently most of the parents enjoy watching my child, thankfully even the Coach. He may not be the best hitter or outfielder, but he's the best entertainer on the team. And he's always got a smile on his face, whether they're winning or losing.

The Visitors

This weekend my Sister came to visit! Her Hubby had Scout stuff going on so he dropped her off at my house on his way. Her and three little kids, the oldest being four.

Here's Sister Accountant and her Baby. So Adorable and Squishable. Almost makes me want to bear another child. Thank goodness I'm much too old for that.

Here's her oldest girl. She is sweet. And spicy. She sure has a fun personality.

This little boy is smack in the middle of two girls. He was so fat when he was little that you couldn't keep your hands off of him. He also had the most infectious laugh. He would laugh so hard that you had to make him stop because he sounded like he was going to explode. Such a joyful sound.

He loved the dusty exercise ball. It provided hours of entertainment with him rolling it all over the room.

They also taught my dog new tricks. That squeezable boy left a half eaten doughnut on the top of the picnic table. It took a few minutes for Tank to muster the courage needed, but he jumped up on the table and ate it. Then after a few minutes of looking and testing he figured out how to jump down. Now our food isn't safe!

I introduced these kids to old Scooby Doo movies. They can't get enough. He decided he wanted to watch this one all by himself. He kicked his sister out of the way, turned the tv, and laid on the hearth three inches from the tv and watched the movie.

She is just fun. She crawled all over. So we had to keep her away from the stairs. And the doors. And the running kids cuz cousins from the other side were over playing too. It was quite a successful weekend as all the kids got along fabulously and had a ball and kept out from under my feet.

And Sunday morning Sister Accountant's Baby woke up my Baby. He didn't mind at all. He loves babies, especially his cousins.

We all had so much fun that I'm going to bed early tonight!