Trashy Magazines are so Much Fun!

A friend of mine gave me some fun trashy magazines to read. These magazines make the rounds. They start with their owner who gives them to my friend. She usually gives them to another friend who passes them onto another friend who gives them to her sister and after that I'm not sure who gets them. But this time I got a magazine. And it was so much fun to read!

I started rifling through, I must start at the beginning if I'm actually going to read the whole thing, and noticed they had stuck tidbits of stuff everywhere. On the credits page they had a heading for a picture column: 'We asked our staffers What's Worth Spending Your Money on Right Now? Number one on the list was 'A Front Row Ticket to the new Broadway Play starring Daniel Craig - no price is too high to be close to him!' I had to second that since the time between finding out about the play, telling Sis-in-Law Nurse about, and buying Third Row Mezzanine Seats tickets was less than a week.

The next interesting thing was an Interview of Chris Rock. He had a list of Do's and Don't's. One of the Do's was: 'buy your cards - bday, anniversary, Valentine's Day - in bulk. My dad used to do this. He planned on being married to my mom for the rest of his life, so he'd buy like nine anniversary cards at a time.' Now that's commitment, at least for nine years.

Another page extolled the 'Five Bad Things that are Actually Good for you Skin.' Top of the list was Chocolate. My favorite. I think I can live with that. French Fries were even on the list! Not because they are good for your skin but because they don't cause breakouts like we all thought as teenagers.

A fashion page was dedicated to a girl dedicated to Sustainable Fashion. She's going to wear the exact same dress for 365 days straight. You go girl! This is supposed to support fashion in poverty-ridden India. But in actuality she is dressing the dress up quite a bit. She'll be spending just as much in accessories and matching clothing to not really save any money. Not exactly how the poor girls in India get to dress. They might get the dress but I doubt they'll get to dress it up like she can.

Finally they had a list (there are a lot of lists in magazines) of Five Fewer Things to Worry About. Second item was 'Eating a Big, Juicy Burger.' I never have a problem with that, do other women or are they making things up again? And the last one was 'Playing Doctor.' With who?? I thought we just did that as curious kids but here they are talking about it in an adult magazine. Who knew? I guess we're not all over it by the time were seven.

The star article was about a 27-year-old Mormon Girl who was still a virgin. She talked about a chastity lesson from church when she was 13.
"Does anyone want a cookie?" she asked in an aggressive tone. We all
perked up because Chastity class was always easier with food...but
the cookies were all half-eaten, broken, and sprinkled with dirt.
"Anyone?" When no one answered, she nodded emphatically
and said, "That's right, no one wants a dirty half-eaten cookie."
And that my friends is how I learned not to have sex.
Love it! Can't even get away from my religion in a trashy magazine.

The final tidbit from my magazine that was rather interesting was one of 7 Revenge Fantasies. 'Jon accidentally impregnates his new girlfriend with octuplets: Jon Minus Kate plus 16!'


MotocrossMom AKA Autumn H. said...

What the heck are you doing up at midnight reading trashy magazines?
If I'd have known that was your secret guilty pleasure, I would have told Heather to pass hers along to you. She had a lifelong subscription to all of them!

Donna said...

Such a secret guilty pleasure! So much so I can't bring myself to buy one but read them cover to cover whenever I find one!

sally said...

I wish I had friends like yours, or maybe friends at all. I'm lonely in Idaho. Maybe we will move in with you.

Lonita said...

Yeah, I never buy trashy magazines myself but they are a guilty pleasure. I don't even mind waiting in line at the grocery store if there's a good selection of magazines I can browse thru while waiting.

allerkins said...

The Chasity lesson made me smile. That is too funny that it was in a magazine. It reminds me of one of my own many lessons on this subject. My leader brought in a beautiful heirloom glass bell that had actually been in her family for years and she actually broke it right in front of us and told us that our virtue was even more precious than that glass bell, and if it hurt to see that broken, how sad would it be if we lost our virtue.

Petit Elefant said...

you know you love them. i mean, any magazine with that many lists is appealing to your ocd self, right? even if they're all full of how-to: become skinny, make a million dollars, steal your friend's boyfriend.

entertainment at its best.