Wednesday after school, our Baby got a phone call. Not from his best friend, he was already here. Or his other best friend, but one of Calvin's best friends growing up. He wanted to come over and play xbox with Baby. I thought "How sweet!" He came over and they got to work in the basement killing bad guys and having fun.
Then about 15 minutes later three girls came over, one of them happened to be one of Calvin's best friends. She is the cutest tomboy. She would always round up the neighborhood for a game of football in her grandpa's backyard. (She confided in me how recently they had been hiding behind some bushes and were throwing little plastic army men onto passing car's windshield.) They were hanging out talking to me and discovered the other friend in the basement. So they went downstairs to play with Baby and friend.
Then two more boys came over and hung out in the basement with everyone else.
Olaf came home and took a phone call. 'Is M here?" he asked me all perplexed.
"Oh yeah, there's a bunch of Calvin's friends in the basement playing with Baby," I nonchalantly replied.
"What? I'm gonna cry. That is so sweet of them to play with him." he replied, stunned that there were teenagers in our house again.
Baby loved the attention. He has always loved Calvin's friends and the attention they give him. He thinks of them as friends, just like anyone his age. It was good for them to play with him. It was nice to have rowdy teenagers in the house again, even tho it's infrequently going to happen. Those kids might keep me from being lonely and missing the teenagers.
10.31.2008
10.30.2008
10.29.2008
It's the Little Things That Count
Olaf was out walking the other day and one of Calvin's best friends came running out to tell him that the night before (Oct. 23) the High School Football Team had all painted 'CH' on their calves for the game that night. Not only that but several of them came through the viewing line in their full uniform and brought us a football the whole team had signed. It was so sweet and thoughtful.
I found out that the night before that the Junior High Choir had sung a song in his memory at their concert. The parents said they did a great job but had a hard time getting through this song.
Calvin was the last group to go to Middle School in 6th grade. Then they split the group up into two different Junior Highs the next year and half his friends were in the other school. The first day of school after the accident the kids from the other Junior High who remembered Calvin all dressed up in white shirts and ties for school in remembrance of him.
We are still getting several cards a day from friends and family. This whole tragedy has really struck a chord with a lot of people who have lost loved ones. It's amazing how many people have lost immediate family members. The hardest ones to read are from Calvin's friends. They loved him so much and tell us how happy and nice he was to everyone. They tell us how we must be great parents to have such a wonderful son (don't tell them the truth!). They tell us how much Calvin loved his family and his little brothers.
I'm just so thankful that Calvin is such a good kid and that so many people loved him and that he was able to touch so many people's lives. It really helps to know that he lived such a happy life.
I found out that the night before that the Junior High Choir had sung a song in his memory at their concert. The parents said they did a great job but had a hard time getting through this song.
Calvin was the last group to go to Middle School in 6th grade. Then they split the group up into two different Junior Highs the next year and half his friends were in the other school. The first day of school after the accident the kids from the other Junior High who remembered Calvin all dressed up in white shirts and ties for school in remembrance of him.
We are still getting several cards a day from friends and family. This whole tragedy has really struck a chord with a lot of people who have lost loved ones. It's amazing how many people have lost immediate family members. The hardest ones to read are from Calvin's friends. They loved him so much and tell us how happy and nice he was to everyone. They tell us how we must be great parents to have such a wonderful son (don't tell them the truth!). They tell us how much Calvin loved his family and his little brothers.
I'm just so thankful that Calvin is such a good kid and that so many people loved him and that he was able to touch so many people's lives. It really helps to know that he lived such a happy life.
Countdown!
The other night I got ready for bed. I pulled out my big exercise ball, laid back on it, put my feet against the wall, cuz they're always slipping, and tried to do a sit up. OUCH! I couldn't move at all! I rolled off laughing at myself! I'm still sore, what in the hell made me think I could do a sit up on a ball which is hard enough when I don't have any bruises or soreness!
For everyone's watching pleasure:
I love the scary castle in the background. Is there any way they can bump it to Halloween? I sure would be happy about that at least!
For everyone's watching pleasure:
16 Days Left!
I love the scary castle in the background. Is there any way they can bump it to Halloween? I sure would be happy about that at least!
10.28.2008
Welcome
Last Saturday we added a new member to our family. Our children could hardly bare the whole two lives missing. While they can never ever be replaced we have been trying hard to find a new member to add. So, as of last Saturday, we have a new member. Welcome our new dog, Snyder, Tank, Sniper, or the accidental Boomer. I'm going to have my first contest. We are trying to come up with a good name for him and need some help. So leave us some hints. I haven't gotten a pic yet, but he looks a lot like Boomer, a little longer and a little darker. Scared our neighbor to death! He kind of freaked out when he first saw the new dog in the backyard. His wife assured him that this was indeed a different dog, not Boomer. So, leave us some ideas for a new name and we'll let you know what we name him soon!
The Day After
When I first woke up after the accident it was quiet. No one was awake yet. The house was silent. I cried. Then I went upstairs to see if my parents were here yet. I knew they wouldn't be because they would have had to leave at about 3am to get there by this time. They weren't here yet. I went back downstairs and went back to sleep. Sleeping was hard. My left shoulder was really banged up from the seat belt. My right ear was sore and bruised. The back of my head had a big gash on it and was sore. I had to sleep on my stomach and left side of my head. Granted I usually sleep that way but I couldn't move very much and I was very sore.
When I woke up a few hours later I could hear people upstairs. I cautiously crept up the stairs, not sure what I'd see. There were two neighbors sitting and visiting in the living room. When they saw me they got up and hugged me and we all started crying. This went on for a few hours with a steady stream of my friends from the neighborhood. It was so nice to know that people cared so much about us and were coming to visit so quickly. One of Calvin's best friends grandparents had also brought over several bags of groceries and stocked the fridge!
I couldn't believe the people that knew what had happened already. They weren't the usual church people, it was my friends. This terrible news didn't travel through the usual church grapevine, people called my friends and let them know what was going on. I was so thankful for my friends coming and visiting me.
I cried so much that first day. When I woke up and looked in the mirror my eyes were swollen. I kind of thought that maybe something was wrong with them. I'm not a crier and for my eyes to be swollen from crying was something I'm not used to seeing. Then my hair was another matter completely. I mentioned I had a big gash on the back of my head. From the front I looked disheveled, like I had a bad night sleeping, but not too bad. My mom did mention my hair was lighter from all the dirt and dust. But when I turned around the back of my hair was all tangled and matted from blood and dirt. And then my clothing was another story completely. I came home in a hospital gown and scrub pants. My mother-in-law had given me a different t-shirt to wear, but that was it. But I didn't even care what I was wearing or how horrible I looked when I visited with people that morning.
I was just thankful that friends were coming to visit, family was coming to stay with me, and someone was taking care of my family because I couldn't right then. So much food was brought over and the vast majority of it was eaten. I had 25+ family members and they were fed. My brother-in-law was a little disappointed. He loves our local hamburger joints and had to go eat by himself. This trip was unexpected for everyone and I'm sure everyone was on a tight budget. Everyone was thankful for the meals. I was amazed by the amount of food brought over and the caring and love shown by everyone around us.
When I woke up a few hours later I could hear people upstairs. I cautiously crept up the stairs, not sure what I'd see. There were two neighbors sitting and visiting in the living room. When they saw me they got up and hugged me and we all started crying. This went on for a few hours with a steady stream of my friends from the neighborhood. It was so nice to know that people cared so much about us and were coming to visit so quickly. One of Calvin's best friends grandparents had also brought over several bags of groceries and stocked the fridge!
I couldn't believe the people that knew what had happened already. They weren't the usual church people, it was my friends. This terrible news didn't travel through the usual church grapevine, people called my friends and let them know what was going on. I was so thankful for my friends coming and visiting me.
I cried so much that first day. When I woke up and looked in the mirror my eyes were swollen. I kind of thought that maybe something was wrong with them. I'm not a crier and for my eyes to be swollen from crying was something I'm not used to seeing. Then my hair was another matter completely. I mentioned I had a big gash on the back of my head. From the front I looked disheveled, like I had a bad night sleeping, but not too bad. My mom did mention my hair was lighter from all the dirt and dust. But when I turned around the back of my hair was all tangled and matted from blood and dirt. And then my clothing was another story completely. I came home in a hospital gown and scrub pants. My mother-in-law had given me a different t-shirt to wear, but that was it. But I didn't even care what I was wearing or how horrible I looked when I visited with people that morning.
I was just thankful that friends were coming to visit, family was coming to stay with me, and someone was taking care of my family because I couldn't right then. So much food was brought over and the vast majority of it was eaten. I had 25+ family members and they were fed. My brother-in-law was a little disappointed. He loves our local hamburger joints and had to go eat by himself. This trip was unexpected for everyone and I'm sure everyone was on a tight budget. Everyone was thankful for the meals. I was amazed by the amount of food brought over and the caring and love shown by everyone around us.
10.26.2008
Love and Compassion
After our accident people were on the scene immediately. Not just dumb passerby's but knowledgeable EMT type people who instantly went into action and helped with everyone. The ambulances took 12 minutes to get to our location but to me it was only like a minute. The only thing I even remember is looking around at the horrible destruction around me. The two younger boys were sitting on the ground near each other and someone was with each of them. Olaf was already bandaged up and when he saw I was awake he walked over to talk to me, and someone was with me, talking and patting my shoulder. I also saw farther away a group of people, I didn't know what they were doing but they were working on Calvin. Olaf had seen them doing CPR on him and knew things weren't good for him. I had no clue. I was thankful and comforted that somebody was with everyone and taking care of things since I couldn't. We were whisked away in the ambulances with people putting IV's in us while on the bumpy highway. I know it was bumpy because the laceration on the back of my head kept hitting the backboard I was on and I couldn't turn because of the neck brace they had put on me. These EMT people stayed with us at the hospital until we left, over six hours later. They were amazing.
The hospital employees were also wonderful. They were so kind to us. They didn't leave us for a moment. When we were bandaged up and checked out and doing better they asked if we wanted to see Calvin. They told us they had bandaged his head because he had a head wound. I was really afraid to go and see him. I couldn't imagine my sweet son not alive. But I also remembered hearing other people saying that although it was hard to see their child gone it was healing. So we went and saw him. It was hard and I cried. I couldn't believe that he was already cold. But then it got better and I was able to talk to him. He was beautiful, even with all his scratches. He looked peaceful. He almost looked just asleep. The little boys were in and out. The EMTs had put on a movie for them because they were bored. We were able to say our goodbyes.
Olaf's Mom and Sister and both spouses were there very soon at the hospital. The hospital called his Mom and told her that her son had been in an accident. He had a head injury but was coherent. She asked how his wife and children were and the hospital staff couldn't tell her anything. She had to make the long, half-hour, drive to Nephi not knowing the condition of the rest of the family. While the news of Calvin was devastating she was so glad that the rest of us were doing wonderful and would be fine. I cannot imagine the horror of that half-hour drive to Nephi. She has said that was the longest drive of her life.
Sister-in-Law Nurse was absolutely wonderful. She called me parents since I was in no condition to make that call. I gave her my cell phone and said I didn't want it back for a while. She called all my friends and family and talked to them. I couldn't deal with telling anyone the news or even talking to my family about the whole thing. She took all the calls over the next two days that came in to my phone, knowing I couldn't do it yet. I could never had made those calls and she took it upon herself to help me out in that way. She also helped out with Olaf when he got home from the hospital. She and her Mom helped with all the medical things that needed to be taken care of. That was good because I am not good in that department and was glad I didn't need to take care of that part of him. I felt woefully inadequate in that area but was glad they were there to do that for him.
Olaf's Mom and Step-Dad had us stay at their house for over a week. We just moved home tonight. They were so good to keep us there so long. It really helped to not come straight home after everything. Since a lot of my family was staying at my house across the street, it was wonderful to have a quiet place to be when we needed it, and Olaf needed it a lot at first. I had to take care of all the funeral arrangements because he was still so tired and recovering from his wounds. I really didn't know where to begin. The day after the accident I saw on my home phone that the mortuary had called and I just refused to call them back. I still couldn't quite cope. But the next day I headed over there with my parents in tow and we started taking care of the arrangements. Thankfully, until the funeral was over, people were following me around, taking notes of the things I was planning. That was so good because I couldn't remember most of what I was doing. I was constantly turning around asking questions about what we had just discusses, already forgetting half the details. I lost my purse every time I picked it up!
This whole experience has made me learn more to let people help me. I like to take care of things myself and not ask for help. But I had been incapable of that for almost a week. While I was still doing these horrible things, planning a funeral for my son, someone was constantly there taking care of me. I know there is no way that I could have gotten through this experience without all the prayers of support that people were saying for us. I know it helped and sustained us through this trial. I know this is not over and that it is going to be hard a lot but I have been so thankful for all the love and support everyone has shown me and my family.
The hospital employees were also wonderful. They were so kind to us. They didn't leave us for a moment. When we were bandaged up and checked out and doing better they asked if we wanted to see Calvin. They told us they had bandaged his head because he had a head wound. I was really afraid to go and see him. I couldn't imagine my sweet son not alive. But I also remembered hearing other people saying that although it was hard to see their child gone it was healing. So we went and saw him. It was hard and I cried. I couldn't believe that he was already cold. But then it got better and I was able to talk to him. He was beautiful, even with all his scratches. He looked peaceful. He almost looked just asleep. The little boys were in and out. The EMTs had put on a movie for them because they were bored. We were able to say our goodbyes.
Olaf's Mom and Sister and both spouses were there very soon at the hospital. The hospital called his Mom and told her that her son had been in an accident. He had a head injury but was coherent. She asked how his wife and children were and the hospital staff couldn't tell her anything. She had to make the long, half-hour, drive to Nephi not knowing the condition of the rest of the family. While the news of Calvin was devastating she was so glad that the rest of us were doing wonderful and would be fine. I cannot imagine the horror of that half-hour drive to Nephi. She has said that was the longest drive of her life.
Sister-in-Law Nurse was absolutely wonderful. She called me parents since I was in no condition to make that call. I gave her my cell phone and said I didn't want it back for a while. She called all my friends and family and talked to them. I couldn't deal with telling anyone the news or even talking to my family about the whole thing. She took all the calls over the next two days that came in to my phone, knowing I couldn't do it yet. I could never had made those calls and she took it upon herself to help me out in that way. She also helped out with Olaf when he got home from the hospital. She and her Mom helped with all the medical things that needed to be taken care of. That was good because I am not good in that department and was glad I didn't need to take care of that part of him. I felt woefully inadequate in that area but was glad they were there to do that for him.
Olaf's Mom and Step-Dad had us stay at their house for over a week. We just moved home tonight. They were so good to keep us there so long. It really helped to not come straight home after everything. Since a lot of my family was staying at my house across the street, it was wonderful to have a quiet place to be when we needed it, and Olaf needed it a lot at first. I had to take care of all the funeral arrangements because he was still so tired and recovering from his wounds. I really didn't know where to begin. The day after the accident I saw on my home phone that the mortuary had called and I just refused to call them back. I still couldn't quite cope. But the next day I headed over there with my parents in tow and we started taking care of the arrangements. Thankfully, until the funeral was over, people were following me around, taking notes of the things I was planning. That was so good because I couldn't remember most of what I was doing. I was constantly turning around asking questions about what we had just discusses, already forgetting half the details. I lost my purse every time I picked it up!
This whole experience has made me learn more to let people help me. I like to take care of things myself and not ask for help. But I had been incapable of that for almost a week. While I was still doing these horrible things, planning a funeral for my son, someone was constantly there taking care of me. I know there is no way that I could have gotten through this experience without all the prayers of support that people were saying for us. I know it helped and sustained us through this trial. I know this is not over and that it is going to be hard a lot but I have been so thankful for all the love and support everyone has shown me and my family.
10.25.2008
Eating & More
I've been learning a few things about Calvin that I didn't know before. I didn't know that he used to sneak in his friends' houses to tease them. One time a friend's mom even called his cell phone cuz she thought he was still there and knew he liked to hide in her house. He innocently claimed he was at his own home. Turns out he was hiding under his friend's bed! After this story at the funeral a few other friends told me that he had tried to sneak into their houses to scare them also. Another mom told me he would sneak in and get food out of basement. Technically that would not only be breaking and entering but theft also. She found him more than once in the basement eating a bottle of peaches, his favorite.
Everyone that knows him has fed him! I thought that I provided plenty of food, but apparently not. I knew he was always hungry, but I had no idea how hungry. I thought I had done a pretty good job of providing food. When the congregation got together Sunday night to talk about him and all their feelings the bishop, our congregational leader, started by asking "Who has fed Calvin?" Everyone raised their hands!
I also learned about Calvin's dove hunt he went on several years ago with one of his best friends. The dad dropped them off at one end of the field and went to the other to wait for them. Part way across the field they shot a dove. They were so excited! When they came upon the dove, it was still alive. The two boys were saddened and couldn't finish the job. The dad saw them standing in the middle of the field and finally went to check on them because they were taking so long. He found them looking on sadly at the poor bird and had to finish the job for the young softies. This dad was always looking out for Calvin and coached him in many sports. He was wonderful. When they heard the news and his son said something about crying a little, he replied, "It's okay to cry A LOT."
A few years ago my Mom was visiting. When it got time to go my boys didn't want her to leave. So Calvin hid her suitcase! I must have known about this at the time but I had completely forgotten about it! All my sisters and sisters-in-law mentioned how Calvin loved to push my buttons. More than once he would say to them 'Watch this!" And then he would come up to me and say something to bug me. Of course, I would fly off the handle and he'd get in trouble. But then, unbeknownest to me, he would grin at them and say "Told ya!" I knew he liked to push my buttons but had no idea he had so much fun with it!
Everyone that knows him has fed him! I thought that I provided plenty of food, but apparently not. I knew he was always hungry, but I had no idea how hungry. I thought I had done a pretty good job of providing food. When the congregation got together Sunday night to talk about him and all their feelings the bishop, our congregational leader, started by asking "Who has fed Calvin?" Everyone raised their hands!
I also learned about Calvin's dove hunt he went on several years ago with one of his best friends. The dad dropped them off at one end of the field and went to the other to wait for them. Part way across the field they shot a dove. They were so excited! When they came upon the dove, it was still alive. The two boys were saddened and couldn't finish the job. The dad saw them standing in the middle of the field and finally went to check on them because they were taking so long. He found them looking on sadly at the poor bird and had to finish the job for the young softies. This dad was always looking out for Calvin and coached him in many sports. He was wonderful. When they heard the news and his son said something about crying a little, he replied, "It's okay to cry A LOT."
A few years ago my Mom was visiting. When it got time to go my boys didn't want her to leave. So Calvin hid her suitcase! I must have known about this at the time but I had completely forgotten about it! All my sisters and sisters-in-law mentioned how Calvin loved to push my buttons. More than once he would say to them 'Watch this!" And then he would come up to me and say something to bug me. Of course, I would fly off the handle and he'd get in trouble. But then, unbeknownest to me, he would grin at them and say "Told ya!" I knew he liked to push my buttons but had no idea he had so much fun with it!
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