Phone Parenting

The joys of parenting over the phone while whispering in the cubicles at work.

Me at 1pm: You two need to go outside and play. Turn the tv off and go play with some friends.

Middle Child (MC): Baby won't play with any of my friends.

Me: Let me talk to Baby

Baby (B): Hi Mommy

Me: You guys need to turn the tv off and go outside and play. You need to play with some of MC's friends.

B(whining): Moooom, I don't wanna play with MC's friends! He's trying to make me play with K! (4 yr old girl)

Me: Let me talk to MC. (MC comes on the phone) You need to play with someone that B wants to play with. You can't expect him to want to play with a girl half his age! Call C or M or MM.

MC: C's playing with another friend, M is at his grandma's, & MM is doing chores.

Me: Then GO OUTSIDE! Day after tomorrow you have school and no more free days! GO OUTSIDE! Go to the park, ride your bikes around, find some other friends running around the neighborhood! There are always kids outside! Take Boomer the Basset Hound for a walk! GO OUTSIDE!! No more tv until after 4pm! Let me talk to B.

B: Hi Mommy

Me: You need to GO OUTSIDE and play! No more tv until after 4pm!

B(whining): Moooom, I don't wanna go to the park!

Me: AAUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY!

This conversation actually vacillated between the boys a few more times than this but I don't have the patience to write it all down. And I don't really want to remember it when I'm old and have dementia.

Last week when I got home on Wednesday First Born announced I owed him $5. "What for?" I asked.

"I took Baby to the movie with me & N."

"That's great, but next time let me know."

Later that day I asked Middle Child what he did that day and he played with C all day including riding his bike to the Dollar Store, about 2 1/2 miles away.

"Do you feel like you're on vacation with me at work?" I asked.

A resounding "YES" reached my ears. How fun for the boys. No one to nag them about chores and reading and anything else they might not do!