I got all the Halloween decorations out of the basement last week. Then I sat down and cried. Last year Calvin was still here when I put out all the decorations. And then he wasn't here when I put them away. It's almost been a year. I really don't know how I've made it through this last year. I've tried to stay busy to keep my mind from thinking too hard. I've tried to remember all the good things. For the first six months I carried a little notebook in my purse and every time I remembered something I instantly wrote it down. If I didn't, I would forget it no matter how hard I tried. So many of them were just little things. But it's part of my memories that I've been trying to capture. I don't want to forget anything about him at all.
Last week we got pumpkins from the nursery. Both the boys picked out a good sized one to carve and then they picked one out for Calvin. As Baby said, "He's part of our family forever and ever and we can carve him a pumpkin too." Maybe we can take it over to the cemetery on Halloween. How fitting would that be? Calvin would love the irony. In fact when I had been at the store a few weeks ago I had a great idea. I decided I would decorate Calvin's grave for Halloween. So I started looking at the different decorations. There were crows, witches, skeletons, and tombstones. . .Wait. Tombstones. We just put a real headstone on his grave. I don't think that's real appropriate to decorate a real graveyard with tombstones. Calvin would love it but I just didn't think it would go over real well with the rest of the cemetery folk. So I got some fall decorations and put them out for him.
So as we get close to the year date I'm asking you to leave me memories of Calvin that you have. Email them or just leave them as comments on this blog. Please. I have so many memories of him in my life but I want more. I want memories from extended family and friends. I want memories I don't know about or just plain don't remember because my memory isn't the greatest. So please think hard and leave me a memory or two.