The Finished Cabinet

Last month I told you about staining a display case we had made for the Junior High in Calvin's memory. Finally, here are some pics of us working on it.
Here we are sanding. Thank goodness for electricity and sanders!

The boys enjoyed getting all kinds of dirty and stained.

They really got into their work!

Yesterday we helped put up the cabinet. It turned out very nice looking and matches another display case they already have.

Here is Todd the Cabinet-Maker taking things down on the wall.

Olaf is prepping the wall after everything is down.

Here is Middle Child helping attach the bottom base the cabinet will rest upon. Love the cowlicks, one of the many endearing qualities of Middle Child.

Here is Todd the Cabinet-Maker, his Assistant, and Olaf setting the first cabinet in place.

Here is Todd the Cabinet-Maker anchoring that heavy thing to the wall. Hopefully it won't fall on anyone!

The second cabinet went up and Todd the Cabinet-Maker went to work putting the two together, anchoring it to the wall while his Assistant, Nephew, and Olaf held that thing in place.

Now he's putting the finishing touches on anchoring.

Now the crown molding is being installed.

Here the children and I are cleaning it up. I must only have one shirt. Can you tell how I know that?

Now the kids are putting up the shelves and Todd the Cabinet-Maker is installing the tempered glass doors.

We even got Middle Child to do some glass cleaning.

Here is the finished product.

We put a little plaque inside.

Spring is in the Air

It's Spring! Spring is here! The daffodils are blooming. (The year I went to Scotland the daffodils were in full bloom in JUNE!) The crocuses are all gone. The yard finally needs watering after a few dry days. The sky is blue and the temperatures are warm but not hot. All the remaining patches of permasnow have finally melted. (You know the black snow that has a hard time melting.) Summer blockbusters have hit the theaters. Go Star Trek! And all the roadside crews are busy cleaning up the winter garbage that is flat and icky after being piled under layers and layers of dirty snow along the road. If it hasn't disintegrated yet there's a good chance it won't anytime soon. Off to the landfill with you!

The other morning on my way to work under a beautifully blue sky I noticed a work crew ahead, leisurely picking up garbage. Then I saw the sign announcing the crew so no one would run over any of them. It said, "Sheriff's Inmate Cleanup Crew." And then the next sign a few more feet down the road said "Sheriff's Cleanup Crew" with a very blank spot where 'Inmate' had been yellowed out. It gave me a good laugh on my way to work and reminded me not to pick up hitchhikers wearing orange vests.

Revenge on the Cat

When Baby got home tonight Olaf told him to go and get some dinner.

"Go get some Cat-Tacos."

"What are those?" Baby asked.

"Tacos made out of cat meat. We have a lot of cats around here and we were out of meat. So we made do."

Baby went and changed and when he came back in the kitchen Olaf asked him, "Did you get some Cat-Tacos yet?"

"What cats are they made out of?"

"Black cat."

"Thank you for getting revenge on him! Did you see what he did to me a little while ago?" Baby was all kinds of excited.

Baby is referring to an incident involving Black Cat that happened about five years ago. He was playing with Black Cat who ended up giving him a little scratch on his arm. He hasn't forgotten the offense and brings it up regularly.

Now Baby is happily eating his Cat-Taco with Tank dancing around him looking for loose shreds of cheese to fall on the floor. (He became a cheese addict when we had to give him some pills and the only way we could get him to take the pill was to squish it into a small hunk of cheese. Now if he hears the fridge open he is right there, hoping he's getting his share of the cheese.)

Whatever you do don't upset Baby, apparently he knows how to hold a grudge and I don't want his revenge visited upon anyone.

How to Tell if You're Getting Taller

Sister-in-Law Nurse told Baby he was getting taller. And he agreed.

"I can tell when I pee," he nonchalantly replied.

In between fits of giggling she asked how that was the determining factor of growth.

"The toilet's farther away."

And that is the logic of an eight-year-old boy. I don't think it gets any better over the next 60 years.

Baby the Entertainer

A few Sunday's ago Baby had to read a scripture in Primary. Primary is the LDS version of Sunday School for children under 12. And since we have a lay ministry it is essential to get the kids in front of an audience at a young age so they can do it when they're older, even if they don't like too.

Baby loves to read scriptures! He thinks it's so cool for some reason. I've never run across another kid that likes to read scriptures. When we got to church I told Olaf he needed to help Baby find a relatively short scripture to read. Even though his age group doesn't mind being behind a microphone, understanding them is another matter altogether.

Olaf told me later that he tried to help Baby find a shortish scripture. When he showed one to Baby he protested, "It's too short! Find me a different one." So Olaf found him two scriptures that went together. He felt pretty good about their selection.

When it came time we went into Primary to witness the carnage that our children create when in front of a group. Baby got up, found his scripture, and started reading. And after a relatively long verse he paused and I was pretty proud of him. He had pronounced some big words correctly and he was fairly intelligible.

And then he continued on to the next verse. No one was too surprised, these were two well known verses in our Faith. He did great with the second verse and I was still proud of him.

And then he continued on with the next verse. All the adult's heads whipped around to look at me and I just grinned. I mouthed, "He loves to read scriptures." There were a few giggles from some of the older kids and the adults, including me. I thought it was cute.

And then he continued on with the next verse. But, thankfully, this verse continued on to the next page. Did he flip the page to finish it? No, he stopped right in the middle of the verse where it ended on the page. By this time all the children had lost attention and the adults were thinking about other things, like, how long is this kid going to drone on? I didn't even notice that he ended midsentence.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, it was over. And then after Baby closed his scriptures, he leaned into the microphone one more time and blew. (My kids have a propensity for "checking" microphones.) Just for a second, but he did it. Then all the kids burst into giggles, not laughs because that isn't reverent, just giggles, and all the adult's heads whipped around to look at me again as I was openly and quietly laughing. My kids are always good for entertaining the masses at church with something verging on the inappropriate.

Unsent Letters

Sometimes I just wish that Calvin was on a trip and I could send him some silly letters that would make him and his roommates laugh. Every now and then I compose one in my head and get a giggle out of them. I'm sure they have computers in Heaven so I'm sending him a letter.

Dear Calvin,

Last spring when you got excited about mowing the lawn I knew something was amiss. You hate mowing the lawn. You keep begging us for a goat. You keep suggesting areas that you think should be covered with bark. You complain every time I plant a tree, one more thing to mow around. So, when you were excited last spring about mowing the lawn I knew something was amiss. I asked why you were excited because I know you hate mowing the lawn. You answered my question by exclaiming that we were buying a new lawnmower this year. You were so excited. Until I burst your bubble. Being the practical woman that I am I assured you we would be using the lawnmower until it inhaled its last gas and spewed fumes instead of revving to a start. You were not amused. But whenever I asked you to mow the lawn you did it and I'm proud of that.

This summer Olaf tried to start the mower for the first lawn mowing session of the year. It wouldn't start at all. So we went lawn mower shopping. You can take solace in the fact that we didn't buy a goat so Middle Child will still have to mow the lawn. We checked out a few and showed the boys an old-fashioned mower. It's a couple of blades welded between the wheels without any protective covering. They thought it was pretty cool, but then, they were only pushing it across the smooth tiled floor, not through a forest of grass. I'm sure they would lose a few fingers this summer.

The good news is we finally decided on and bought a new lawnmower! You would love it. It has a window in the grass bagger so you don't have to guess when the bag is full. No more waiting for it to fall off and spread cut grass everywhere. It also has a 'easy pull start.' If it doesn't start within two pulls they will replace the engine. You would have loved that when our old one took 10-15 tries to start last summer. You probably wouldn't even have to help Middle Child start the mower anymore.

I hope you don't have to mow your lawn up there. I bet you have a couple goats and they are much better about listening to you tell them where to eat and how much to leave. And if you do mow your lawn I wish you the fanciest riding lawn mower available in Heaven!

Love,
Mom

Hunter Safety Class

Back in December Olaf taught a Hunter Safety class. He enjoys doing this and does it a couple times every year. In the past parents had offered their shooting ranges for him to let his students pass off their shooting skills. But for this class no one came forward and offered a shooting range. So he had to find one all by himself. He talked to another Gun Enthusiast (that's the understatement of the year) who said he could use the Shooting Range underneath the Senior Citizen Center. I think the Shooting Range has been there since the Spaniards came into the valley.

Here's a picture of everyone getting ready to shoot. Notice the low ceiling, posts holding everything up, and old cement floor.
Notice the wheels on the posts? They are how the targets are moved back and forth. No cool light switch to flip like in the movies.
Here's an example of someone using the aforementioned wheel.
Here's a picture of Middle Child and his Friend. They took the class together and had too much fun. Notice the white stripe in the background? That's the targets.
Obviously, Middle Child took the class from Olaf. He was taking the quizzes online and had to ask a few questions, but for the most part he knew everything. As he was discussing shotguns vs. rifles with Olaf he announced, "You know, Dad, I'm never going hunting." He's been very anti-gun and anti-hunting. Olaf just isn't sure he's the father of this child. But he is, the mailman was actually a mailwoman at the time.

During the class, Olaf was sure he'd have to help Middle Child with the shooting portion in order to pass him. You see, Middle Child has only been shooting once and that was with the above-pictured friend, not Olaf. But before the class was over Middle Child brought his target over to show Olaf and he had done a dang good job of shooting! Olaf was pretty amazed. I did remind him that he plays a lot of video games and that probably contributes to the whole hand-eye coordination issue.

The best thing about the Shooting Range was the crawl space under the front porch of the Senior Center. It was something from a horror novel. Dripping water came from the darkened ceiling. There was an old wooden table in the middle of the short room. The foundation stones were rough and uneven. All it needed was some torture tools hanging from the ceiling.

The best thing about the class was Middle Child announced he "Wanted to go Hunting." Olaf couldn't have been happier.

Boys Will be Boys

When Olaf and I were dating I lived with a family we had been friends with since I was a baby. They are a very nice family and had six children, similar to the seven I grew up with. Her last three children were boys and I had never been around that many boys before. I only had two brothers and they were five or six years apart and never really played together.

These were really sweet boys. One morning the littlest one got up and gave me a hug and then went back to bed. I had to leave for work around 5:30am so no one else in the house was up when I left so I was surprised when he woke up that morning.

But nonetheless they were boys. They would run and romp and play all the time. Their bikes were on the lawn and their pants had rips in the knees by springtime. For the most part they got along great, which is miraculous considering they all shared a room together. But one afternoon I witnessed a real fistfight break out between them. There was a flurry of clothes and fists and bodies. I couldn't even see if two or three of the boys were fighting. And I just stood there unable to move, frozen to the spot, clueless as how to get them to stop before they killed themselves. Having witnessed few fights, and never between brothers, I thought for sure they would kill themselves! But their Mom heard the scuffle, came running, reached right into the middle, (how could she not be afraid of them? I was!) pulled those boys apart, and sent them to sit on their beds. I was absolutely amazed! I was in awe! She was better than Wonder Woman!

Fast forward ten years. Now I know how she did it. I've done it several times. I didn't know I had it in me before three boys, but I have reached into the middle of a fight and split it up. I never even considered being afraid like I was before children. I never realized what Motherhood does to you until I had three boys of my own. You do become Superwoman and Wonder Woman just to keep your kids alive.

Self Esteem Boost

I got my recent phone bill and I feel Wonderful! It was addressed to me, "Not-An-Idiot!" (If you remember I told you in the past how the phone company was calling me an idiot. It was so frustrating and demoralizing. You can read about it here.) I was so excited and this was such a boost to my self esteem that I'm thinking of changing it again. Sister-in-Law Farmer suggested I change it to something even more validating, "Most Beautiful and Fabulous Customer." I think I could have a little fun with this. Maybe every month I'll change it to something new. Then I'll probably forget I changed it and when I get the new bill in my inbox it will make my heart swell with happiness with the nice things the phone company has to call me. It could be a wonderful boost every month! I might run out of ideas so if you could give me a few suggestions that would be wonderful.

Calvin's Cabinet

Today we took the boys over to the cabinet shop. Since the cabinet guy is a friend of Olaf's friend he said we could help build the cabinet for the Junior High. (yes, our town is not so small and we have graduated to the second level of separation or whatever it is called. Instead of knowing everyone in town anymore, everyone knows someone you know.) So the boys went over and started sanding. I sure hoped he sanded the boards before the boys! They both had littlish sanders and were sanding away but were having more fun than anything. When Middle Child tried out Baby's sander he was amazed, "It moves all by itself," and then he let go and watched it run across the wood! I seriously think that kid has no common sense some days. At least no big gouges were made so we just sanded that area a little more than the rest.

After everything was sanded and dusted he set them to staining. He got them some small rags and dipped them in the stain. Then he pulled the dripping rags out and showed the boys how to push the rags into the grooves and then run over the top when the grooves were good and stained. The boys had quite a bit of fun. Who wouldn't with dripping rags full of stain? Of course a few pieces of clothing were ruined, but most everyone was dressed for the occasion. I noticed Baby had stain marks all over his arm. Middle Child had dust marks on his face where he had scratched himself while sanding. They were both quite comical looking.

The boys had a good time helping out with "Calvin's Cabinet." It'll be nice when it's done and hung. I'll post some pictures of the finished product for you all to admire my children's amazing staining ability.